YYH and the Emperor's New Groove
by Himizu-chan
Summary: My second parody! This one's a parody of the Emperor's New Groove, staring Youko as Kuzco, Genkai as Yzma, Yusuke as Pacha, and Hiei as Kronk! All hell breaks loose! Complete!
1. Hell Breaks Loose

Himizu: Woohoo, guess who's doing another parody! Yay! This one, in case you're odd enough not to read the title, or so impaired that you've already forgotten the title, is a parody of the Emperor's New Groove, which is definitely one of the best Disney movies of all time, along with the Mighty Ducks movies, Finding Nemo, and Ice Age. None of which I will be doing because I'm not going to torture Anime peeps by dressing them up as fish or mammoths or sloths and I won't torture my readers by making them read about hockey. So… I'm doing the Emperor's New Groove! YAY! (Pulls out three cans of Pitch Black II Mountain Dew)

Ryouko: Um, Himizu, I don't think that's a good idea…

Himizu: (Not listening) (Inhales three cans of Pitch Black II Mountain Dew… grape flavored with a sour bite!) (Starts humming Thoia Thoing) Thoia thoia thoia thoia thoing thoing……… What the hell? I hate this song! Ah, R Kelly you retard, how could you disgrace yourself by writing this horrible song! (Starts ranting about how stupid that song is, how horrible rap is, and how someone who wrote such a sang such a wonderful song as I Believe I Can Fly can even live with himself after singing such a horrible song as Thoia Thoing)

Ryouko: (Sigh) I knew that wasn't a good idea, but of course no one listens to me. Why should they, I only know what I'm talking about…

Saru: -.-() Not asking, not asking, not asking… I don't wanna know…

Hiei: Welcome to a typical afternoon at the Studio of Random Doomiful Evilness, home of the evil and possessed parodies bent on destroying the reputations of any fool stupid enough to cross the threshold.

Kurama: Wow, I didn't realize you hated this place so much.

Hiei: Actually, this place really is called the Studio of Random Doomiful Evilness.

Kurama: You're kidding!

Hiei: Himizu named it.

Kurama: -.- Why am I not surprised?

Himizu: I HEARD MY NAME! (Tears over and scares the crap out of the two boys, stopping exactly half an inch from Hiei's face) What are you talking about?

Hiei: … O.O (Kinda freaked out, but then he has a psycho authoress in his face, so what do you expect?)

Kurama: Er… Himizu?

Himizu: (Eyes twist over to look at Kurama, but head doesn't move even a fraction) Yesh?

Kurama: Er… personal space…

Himizu: Oh… (Scitters about a millimeter away from Kurama) Better?

Kurama: Not me… Hiei.

Himizu: (Blinks) Okay…(Grabs Hiei's shoulder and pulls him six inches away from Kurama, still keeping her face at exactly the same distance from Hiei's)

Kurama: -.-() Can you be any more oblivious?

Himizu: Huh?

Saru: Hey, check it out! Hiei and Himizu are going to kiss!

Ryouko: They're going to WHAT? -.-

Himizu: Eep… Aw shit…

Kurama: I tried to warn you…

Himizu: You did not, you were babbling away about personal space!

Kurama: Ever heard of subtlety?

Himizu: Yeah, why?

Kurama: Never mind… -.-()

Hiei: You're not helping your cause…

Himizu: Huh? Oh… right! (Bounces ten feet away from Hiei)

Ryouko: -.- What in seven hells were you two doing?

Hiei: Hey, leave me out of this, she started it!

Himizu: HEY! Listen shrimp, the least you could do is explain that I have no romantic interest in you whatsoever, that I would only kiss you if I was in danger of a slow and brutal death and had no way of committing hara-kiri, and that I had no intention of kissing you, and that Saru is a lying, jumping-to-conclusions, freaky psycho!

Ryouko: (Doesn't appear to notice Himizu's tirade) WHAT IN THE HELL WERE YOU DOING FLIRTING WITH HIM?

Himizu: Um, the day I flirt with him is the day I go out with Karasu. Get my drift?

Saru: Yeah, you're in love with Karasu!

(We'll turn the camera away for a moment while Saru gets her head handed to her on a silver platter)

Himizu: (Dusting off her hands) How dare she… that little creep… Grr…

(Saru is lying nearby in a pretzel-shaped bundle of pain)

Ryouko: … So you weren't trying to kiss him?

Himizu: (Falls over) (Jumps back up) NO YOU BAKA! I hate the guy! Every time I see him, I either want to insult him or yell at him, or beat him up or kill him or put his hair in pigtails, or make him wear pink or… well, just torture him in general.

Hiei: … (Falls over twitching)

Ryouko: Uh oh. Himizu, you've done it again!

Himizu: Why don't you perform CPR?

Ryouko: -.-# (Death glare of DOOM)

Himizu: Heh heh… (Botan-like cat face) Meow… Just kidding…

Ryouko: Why don't you pass out the scripts… (Before I kill you…)

Himizu: Good idea! (I don't wanna die!)

Yusuke: Why am I not playing the lead character? AGAIN?

Himizu: (Blows hair out of face in frustration) How many times do I have to say this? You don't fit the part and I don't like you!

Yusuke: You're evil, you know that?

Himizu: And proud of it!

Yusuke: Well, how come I have to play the sappy fat dude?

Himizu: BECAUSE I SAID SO! HAPPY?

Yusuke: (Flattened against a wall) Not really, but okay…

Himizu: Good boy. Now… we need Kuzco's other costume. Would Kuzco please step forward?

Youko: There's a catch… I know there's a catch… There must be a catch…

Himizu and Ryouko: YOU ARE SO RIGHT! (Drag Youko offstage)

Hiei: Um… how's that a catch? O.o

Ryouko: PERVERT! (Whacks him on the head)

Himizu: Hey, I like doing that! You're supposed to defend him! (Beats Hiei with a mallet)

Ryouko: I'm not defending him after that! Now, Youko, get the damn costume on and show them why we dragged you offstage so they get their minds out of the gutter!

(Incoherent mumbles from Youko)

Saru: (Finally out of her pretzel shape) GET OUT HERE YA DUMB FOX!

(Youko marches out dressed as a llama)

YYH Cast: O.O HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Youko: -.-# I loathe life.

Himizu: (Smirk) I really thought this part fit you.

Youko: You really hate me, don't you?

Himizu: …! (Falls over) (Read BSTV's to learn why I hate him so much. If you don't wanna read the whole story, the Youko thing is in chapters 9 and 11. Not 10. -.-())

Ryouko: Well, this should take care of her every dream for revenge…

Himizu: DAMN STRAIGHT! (Dances around happily) Mwa ha ha, you deserve it!

Youko: …

Himizu: Well, let's do a scene! Come on people!

YYH Cast: Lama us?

Random Narrator Dude: Long ago, somewhere deep in the jungle...

(Youko, dressed as a llama, sits in the middle of bare ground pathetically arrayed as a jungle with two plastic palm trees)

Youko: I'm not going to cry.

Himizu: Fine, then I'll send you to hell, where there are no shiny things or sexy virgin babes.

Youko: o.o -.- Fine.

(Special effects crew starts spraying a hose to make it rain)

Youko Kuzco the Llama: Aah! (Cries)

(A bucket of water is dumped on him)

Youko Kuzco the Llama: (Whimpers) Wee-be-be-bee.

Ryouko: How are you going to do the voice-over?

Himizu: (Pulls out a tape recorder)

Saru: You've thought of everything.

Youko Kuzco (Voice-over): Will you take a look at that. Pretty pathetic, huh? Well, you'll never believe this, but that llama you're looking at was once a human being. And not just any human being. That guy was an emperor. A rich, powerful ball of charisma! Oh, yeah!

(More water is dumped on Youko Kuzco the Llama)

Youko Kuzco (Voice-over): This… is his story.  
(Youko Kuzco the Llama continues to cry)  
Youko Kuzco (Voice-over: Well, actually, my story. That's right, I'm that llama. The name is Youko Kuzco. Emperor Youko Kuzco. I was the world's nicest guy and they ruined my life for no reason! Oh, is that hard to believe? Look, I tell you what, you go back a ways, you know, before I was a llama, and this will all make sense.  
(We all see chibi Youko dressed in royal clothes)  
Youko Kuzco (Voice-over: All right, now see, that's a little too far back. Oh, ho! Look at me! That's me as a baby!

(Chibi Youko Kuzco breaks his doll and starts crying)

Chibi Youko Kuzco: Waaaaaaaaaaaah!

(A dozen or so hands hold out brand-new dolls all exactly like the old ones)

Chibi Youko Kuzco: Hehehehe!

Youko Kuzco (Voice-over): Ahem! All right, let's move ahead...

Himizu: CUT! Good beginning! We'll continue this after the cookie break!

Saru: What is it with you and cookies and parodies?

Ryouko: Cookies are an important part of life, didn't you know that? Without cookies, we'd be dead!

Himizu: True that. And we don't want anyone here to die except for Karasu, so cookies for everyone! Except Karasu!

Karasu: That's not fair! Even sadistic crow demons in love with sexy red-headed fox-boys should be allowed to have cookies too!

Himizu: Um, let me consider that… NO!

Karasu: (Pouts)

Everyone Else: (Shrugs and eats cookies)

Youko: I'm still soaked.

(No one answers, but Ryouko throws a towel over her shoulder, covering his head)

Youko: … Oh yeah… I feel the love… -.-

A/N: Odd, I know. I don't know what exactly I have against the whole 'start the story in the first chapter' but I obviously have some problem with it, so we'll run with it, eh? Hope you people like it, I'll update… basically whenever the mood takes me. Unfortunately school is back is session and I have several problems. 1. I have one computer class, but we don't use Microsoft Word (It's a web design course) so I can't write in school. 2. I have a TON of homework cuz I'm taking tons of advanced classes (I'm so weird that way) and I spend lots of time with that. And 3. (this is the worst reason) Hockey season is starting so I'm going to watch lots of games and a bunch of shows that I like are starting their seasons (C.S.I. and its two spin-offs, Numb3rs, Bones, and Head Cases) and I'll spend lots of time watching those too, plus Ryouko wants me to watch Naruto which premieres next Saturday, so I better read the damn manga so I have at least half a clue at what's going on, but hey, maybe I'll start writing Naruto fics next! So yeah. Don't expect too many updates from me for a while. Maybe after I finish these three stories, I'll hibernate until summer and then post five stories at once! Ok, bad idea. Enough of my ceaseless babbling about my life which none of you probably give a damn about. Read and Review! Ja ne!


	2. Beware the Groove

Thanks for all the reviews everyone! This has been the best response that I've had for any one chapter so far for any of my stories! You guys rock! Um, I don't know if I'm going to have a party yet, I loved all your comments, it's great to see so many familiar... names. Can't say faces. Anyways, I know has that rule about not responding to reviews, but I think they'll forgive me for this one, cuz I owe somebody an apology.

Blackfire Kitsune, I am really sorry I was so snappy. I got some really mean anonymous reviews about my little screw-up in the Holy Grail and I took it out on you. I was being a real bitch and I'm really really sorry! You did not deserve that! And yet, you still reviewed. I guess I'm doing something right if I'm getting such great reviewers. I'm really sorry about being so bitchy, there's no good excuse for that, even if I got some mean reviews. Thanks for still reviewing!

Himizu: We're back! Who's ready for more torture and humiliation?

Ryouko: As long as we're the ones doing the torture and humiliating.

Himizu: Dur!

Saru: Yes! Count me in!

YYH Cast: … (Hiding in a broom closet)

Himizu: I have cookies…

(Cast stampedes out trying to get a cookie)

Ryouko and Saru: … (Anime fall)

Ryouko: They're OOC today, aren't they?

Himizu: Well yeah, how else am I gonna get them to do this?

Saru: She has a point. And it's good.

Ryouko: I know… I'm in shock…

Himizu: Oh shut up. Places everyone! Action!

(On some cheap set that's supposed to represent the interior of a palace)

Youko Kuzco: (Bangs in) Oh yeah.

Theme Song Guy, AKA, Koenma: (Off-screen) (Singing) _There are despots and dictators  
Political manipulators  
There are bluebloods with the intellect of fleas  
There are kings and petty tyrants  
Who are so lacking in refinements  
They'd be better suited swinging from the trees  
He was born and raised to rule  
No one has ever been this cool  
In a thousand years of aristocracy  
An enigma and a mystery  
In Meso-American history  
The quintessence of perfection that is he_

Youko Kuzco (Voice-over): Okay, this is the real me. (Points to llama) Not this. (Points to himself as a human) This! (Points to llama) Not this. (Points to himself as a human) Winner. (Points to llama) Loser! Okay, see this palace? Everyone in it is at my command. Check this out. (He is visible and sitting on a throne) Butler! (Napkin is tied around his neck) Chef! (Lots of food is brought) Theme song guy!

(Teen Koenma comes out wearing an afro and a weird 60's outfit and carrying a microphone)

Theme Song Guy, AKA, Koenma: Oh yeah! (Singing) _He's the sovereign lord of the nation  
He's the hippest cat in creation  
He's the alpha, the omega, a to z  
And his perfect world will spin  
Around his every little whim  
'Cause his perfect world begins and ends with--  
_Youko Kuzco: ME!  
Theme Song Guy, AKA, Koenma: (Singing) _What's his name? Kuzco...That's his name... Kuzco... He's the king of the world! Kuzco... Is he hip or what? Kuzco... Yeah!_

(Youko Kuzco dances around crazily for a while, then bumps into an old geezer named Onji)

Youko Kuzco: Gah! You threw off my groove!

Guard Touya: I'm sorry, but you've thrown off the emperor's groove. (Throws Onji out the window, which is at least five stories up)

Onji: SSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY!  
Youko Kuzco: (Glares at Theme Song Guy, AKA Koenma) You were saying?

Theme Song Guy, AKA Koenma: _What's his name? Kuzco! Kuzco... That's his name! Is he hip or what? Don't you know he's the king of the world? Whoa, yeah! Oww! Kuzcoooooooo..._  
Youko Kuzco: (Bangs in another door) Boom, baby!

Bride Guy Kuwabara: Aah, your Highness! It is time for you to choose your bride!

Youko Kuzco: Allrighty! Trot out the ladies! (Walks up to a row of beautiful girls waiting for his judgment) Are you all virgins? (Girls nod) Great! I'll take all of you, and your giant dowries with lots of shiny gold and jewels! (Girls squeal in excitement)

Himizu: YOUKO!

Youko: What?

Himizu: NOT NOW, YA DAMN FOX! FILM FIRST! THEN YOU CAN SCREW THEM SENSELESS FOR ALL I CARE, BUT NOW IS NOT THE TIME, DO YOU HEAR ME?

Youko: Seeing as I have the hearing of a fox, which have far better ears then you annoying humans and you have deafened your human cohorts, yes, I'd say I heard you.

(Himizu glances at deafened Ryouko and Saru)

Himizu: Oh well… not my problem. Now… (Glares at Youko) OBEY ME!

Youko: Yes ma'am… jerk…

Himizu: Um, that would be you. Oh no, you're a freak. My mistake. NOW DO IT RIGHT!

Youko Kuzco: -.-# Fine. Okay. Let's take a look-see. Hate your hair (Girl gasps), not likely (Girl gasps), yikes (Girl gasps), yikes (Girl gasps), yikes (Girl gasps), and let me guess, you have a great personality. (Girls look really pissed off) Is this really the best you could do?  
Bride Guy Kuwabara: Oh yes! Oh, no! I mean, perhaps! What I mean is… (Keeps talking unintelligibly)

(Youko Kuzco stands there looking totally annoyed)

Youko Kuzco (Voice-over): What is he babbling about? He's like the thing that wouldn't shut up! Anyway, still wondering about that llama in the opening? Well, let me show you the people responsible for ruining my life. First, there's Yusuke Pacha.

(Outside Palace)  
(Yusuke Pacha, dressed like a peasant, walks up to Guard Jin looking for directions.)

Yusuke Pacha: Ah, excuse me, I'm here to see Emperor Youko Kuzco. You see, I got this summons--  
Guard Kurama: Inside, up the stairs, and to the left. Just follow the signs.  
Yusuke Pacha: Oh… great… thanks a lot.  
Youko Kuzco (Voice-over): Uh, and don't be fooled by the folksy, peasant look.  
(Yusuke Pacha is walking and a sandal fall on his head)

Yusuke Pacha: Ow!

Onji: (Taps Yusuke Pacha on the shoulder) Pardon me, that's mine.

Yusuke Pacha: (Hands the sandal to Onji who is hanging from a pole that he broke as he was thrown out the window) Oh, here you go.

Onji: Thank you.

Yusuke Pacha: You're welcome. (Turns to walk away, but quickly turns back) Gaaaah! Oh, hey, are you all right? Here, let me... (Helps the Onji down)

Onji: Oh, thank you, you're so very kind...

Yusuke Pacha: What happened?

Onji: Well… I… threw off the Emperor's groove…

Yusuke Pacha: What?

Onji: (Becoming hysterical) His groove! The rhythm in which he lives his life! His pattern of behavior! I threw it off, and the Emperor had me thrown out the window! (Cries)

Yusuke Pacha: Oh, really, I'm supposed to see him today...

Onji: DON'T THROW OFF HIS GROOVE!

Yusuke Pacha: Oh… okay... Freak… Senile old geezer…

Onji: Beware the groove... (Walks off slowly)

Yusuke Pacha: Hey, are you going to be all right? Like I care, but…

Onji: Groove...(Disappears around corner)

Yusuke Pacha: Okay, that guy was a few corn dogs shy of a picnic.

Youko Kuzco (Voice Over): You see what I mean? This guy's trouble. But as bad as he is, he is nothing compared to what's coming up next.

Himizu: (Cackles insanely) I love my life. Mwa ha ha! Next chapter, you're finally going to get to meet Yzma and Kronk… MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Ryouko: No more writing parodies after getting only about six hours of sleep! (Hits Himizu with a hammer)

Saru: (With a giant baseball bat and spiked club) Is this a private party or can anyone play?

Himizu: o.o You really do hate me, don't you? (Runs off screaming like a banshee)

A/N: This chapter was becoming too long, so I cut it up and now it's too short! (Cries) Stupid writer's block… Although I have tons of ideas for some random new story that I randomly invented yesterday and started typing at midnight last night while I was supposed to be sleeping on the couch in the basement because my grandma is visiting… yeah… -.-() I know this chapter is really bad, but please bear with me, the next chapter will be really good, I swear it! PLEASE DON'T ABANDON ME!


	3. What Do You Mean Fired?

Yes, I have posted two chapters! Make sure you read chapter 2 before you read this! This is my favorite chapter so far cuz I wrote a really good scene in math class for it. Hope you like it!

(In a badly designed throne room with cheap furniture badly spray-painted gold)

Genkai Yzma: And why have you come here today?

Mitari the Peasant: Well, your Highness, I mean, your Grace... (Continues unintelligibly)

Youko Kuzco (Voice Over): Okay, gang, check out this piece of work. This is Genkai Yzma, the Emperor's advisor. Living proof that dinosaurs once roamed the earth. And let's not forget Genkai Yzma's right-hand man. Every decade or so she gets a new one. This year's model is called Hiei Kronk.

(No Kronk is visible)

Himizu: HIEI! GET YOURSELF OUT HERE THIS MINUTE!

(Hiei mutters some profanity, then comes out in a costume that is about ten sizes too big for him)

Saru: Hiei's too short!

Hiei: -.-

Himizu: Well, he's taller than Genkai, and that's all I'm really concerned with.

Saru: Yeah, but isn't he also supposed to be taller than Kuzco?

Himizu: KUZCO IS PLAYED BY A FREAKING 7-FOOT FOX!

Youko: (Comes up behind Himizu and hugs her) Aw, Himizu, I didn't know you cared.

Himizu: O.O -.-# (Beats Youko with a mallet)

(Ryouko and Saru crack up)

Himizu: (Pulls a giant 10-meter stick out of nowhere. She then pokes Youko until he is 10 meters away from her) Perverted foxes stay outside the 10-meter radius.

Youko: Now, you know you don't hate me that much.

Himizu: Whatever…

(Youko suddenly jumps onto the 10-meter stick, making it too heavy for Himizu to hold, so she falls over)

Himizu: (Twitching) Fat jerk… (More twitching)

Youko: Oh, I'm so sorry… (Reaches towards her)

Himizu: STAY AWAY FROM ME! (Beats him with a mallet)

(Twenty minutes later)

(Youko is lying in a bruised, bloody, battered heap of pain)

Himizu: Now, what are we going to do with Hiei's costume?

Ryouko: Well, we could put it in the washing machine…

(Twilight Zone music plays as the three girls shiver in horror, shooting terrified glances at the innocent-looking washing machine)

Yusuke: (Looking at the rest of the cast) Did I miss something?

Kuwabara: Yeah, isn't that what you normally do with clothes? Put them in the washing machine?

Saru: (Muttering) A normal washing machine…

YYH Cast: … (Blank stares)

Ryouko: That washing machine is possessed and evil.

YYH Cast: What does it do?

Himizu: It… it… it… IT SHRINKS YOUR CLOTHES!

YYH Cast: O.O (Anime fall)

Himizu: No, seriously! RISU!

(Risu Squirrely-chan runs in. She's wearing a little black shirt with silver letters reading 'Squirrel Power')

Himizu: Good squirrel. (Risu jumps on her shoulder) That shirt she's wearing used to be mine.

Ryouko: Yeah, she and Saru were having a food fight and Saru squirted a whole bottle of ketchup on her shirt. How dare they waste ketchup like that? (Mutters to herself)

Saru: So we stuck it in the washing machine, but when it came out, it was the perfect size for stupid squirrel, but it didn't fit her.

Himizu: DON'T CALL HER STUPID!

(Risu jumps on Saru and starts messing up her hair, while Saru screams like a banshee)

Ryouko: So logically, if we put Kuwabara-sized clothes in that evil possessed washing machine, it should shrink to Hiei-size.

YYH Cast: … O.o

(Girls put clothes in the washing machine)

(One hour later)

(Hiei is wearing the costume again. It fits him perfectly)

Girls: MWA HA HA HA HA!

Himizu: Places! Action!

(A fly starts buzzing around and Genaki Yzma waves at it with her hand.)  
Hiei Kronk: Yeah, I got that there, Genkai Yzma. (The fly lands on his forehead and he smacks himself to get rid of the fly) Ooof! (Falls over)  
Youko Kuzco (Voice Over): Yup, that's Hiei Kronk! Now, lately, Genkai Yzma's gotten this bad habit of trying to run the country behind my back, and I'm thinkin', that's gotta stop.  
Genkai Yzma: It is no concern of mine whether your family has -- what was it again?  
Mitari the Peasant: Um, food?  
Genkai Yzma: Ha! You really should have thought of that before you became peasants! We're through here. Take him away. Next!  
Mitari the Peasant: But I (Is seized by really big guards) Um, okay.  
Genkai Yzma: Uhhhhh... (Massages her head like she has a really bad headache)  
Youko Kuzco: (Quietly) The nerve of some of those peasants, huh?  
Genkai Yzma: Tell me about it... (Turns and sees Youko Kuzco) AAAH! (Jumps out of throne)  
Youko Kuzco: Hi there! (Waves)  
Genkai Yzma: Oooooooh, your Highness... (Brushes off throne)  
Youko Kuzco: Ahem. Uh, you were doing it again.  
Genkai Yzma: (Giggles nervously) Doing? Doing? Doing what?  
Youko Kuzco: Doing my job. I'm the Emperor, and you're the Emperor's ADVISOR. Remember that?  
Genkai Yzma: Oh, but, your Highness, I was only dealing with meaningless peasant matters...(Continues unintelligibly)  
Youko Kuzco (Voice Over): Whoa. Look at these wrinkles. What is holding this woman together? (Spots something in her teeth) What the…? How long has that been there?  
Hiei Kronk: Good thinking, Genkai Yzma. What do you say, Youko Kuzco? (Slaps Youko Kuzco, who jumps back)  
Youko Kuzco: Whoa, no touchy! No touchy! No touch!  
Guard Jin: Uh, excuse me, your Highness. The village leader is here to see you.  
Youko Kuzco: Oh, great, send him in. (To Genkai Yzma) Oh, and by the way, you're fired.  
Genkai Yzma: Fired! What do you mean, fired?  
Youko Kuzco: Uh, how else can I say it? You're being let go, your department is being downsized, you're part of an outplacement, we're going in a different direction, we're not picking up your option. Take your pick. I've got more!  
Genkai Yzma: But I… you… uh… but your Highness, I have been nothing if not loyal to the empire for… for… for many, many years…  
Youko Kuzco: Hey hey, everybody hits their stride… you just hit yours fifty years ago. So, who is in my chair?  
Hiei Kronk: Oh, oh, I know! Genkai Yzma! Genkai Yzma's in your chair, right?  
Youko Kuzco: (Talking like you would to a puppy) Very good, Hiei Kronk! (Pulls out a cracker) Here, get the snack! (Throws it off the throne area, which is twenty feet off the ground)  
Hiei Kronk: Got it! (Snaps at it and falls off the throne area thing)  
Youko Kuzco: Okay, you heard the man! Up, up, up!  
Hiei Kronk: (From twenty feet below) I'm okay! I'm fine!  
(Genkai Yzma stalks off, muttering furiously under her breath.)

Himizu: AND CUT!

Hiei: Good. (Jumps up and stalks over to her with death in his eyes)

Himizu: (Eye twitch) I take it you have a complaint, Mr. Jaganshi?

Hiei: You're damn right I have a complaint! WHY DID YOU MAKE ME THAT BUFFOON?

Himizu: (Has upside-down U eyes and a huge sweatdrop… you know the look…) Why Hiei, I have no idea what you're talking about!

Ryouko and Saru: LIAR!

Hiei: (Lifts eyebrow)

Himizu: I assure you, everything was decided by a random lottery…

Hiei: And Genkai and Youko just happened to get the parts they were made for?

Himizu: (Still has that look from earlier, although so much more so…somehow…) Eep…

Ryouko and Saru: LIAR!

Hiei: -.-#

Himizu: OKAY! I ADMIT IT! I ASSIGNED YOU THIS ROLE DELIBERATELY!

Hiei: Why?

Himizu: It sells…

Hiei: WHAT?

Himizu: Hey, come on, the fans are used to seeing you as the sadistic little bastard jerk, or the creepy naïve dude that… Never mind… Kicking that thought out of my head… Or you're a really mean freaky slut even worse than Youko Kurama who… Ack! Not finishing that thought either! (Hits head repeatedly) Anyways, they're not used to seeing you as the bumbling fool, and besides, at least you're lovable, unlike Baka Supremo. Kronk is awesome! And the fans need to see you acting OOC once in a while. It's good for them. Maybe it'll break their addiction for you. Of course, then Ryouko… Not finishing that thought either.

(Ryouko and Hiei glare murderously)

Himizu: Eep…

Saru: Haven't you ever heard of 'quit while you're ahead?

A/N: Well, I hope this one was better than the last one. I'll try to update soon, but like I've said so many times before, school makes it really hard to update and I wanna finish my other two fics ASAP, so I may put this one on hold for a week or so. I hope that's okay and that these two chapters will satisfy you for a little while. Read and Reveiw! Ja ne!


	4. My Spinach Puffs!

A/N: Hey, I'm really alive and updating! Sorry I took so long. My intro explains why. It's a bad explanation, but it's the truth. School helped too though. So did hockey. Anyways, enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Emperor's New Groove, Yu Yu Hakusho, or any of the crime shows I watch! But I really really really wish I did... hey, Christmas is coming... (Grins)

Kurama: Hey, Hiei, have you seen Ryouko or Himizu since you tried to beat Himizu up at the last filming?

Hiei: (Mouth full of sweet snow) Mo, man my mon mar.

Kurama: -.-() Swallow.

Hiei: (Glares, but swallows) No, I haven't seen them, and I really don't care where they are.

Kurama: Has anyone seen them?

YYH Cast: Nope.

Kurama: It's been, what, two months since she had us film this parody. Something's up.

Yusuke: You're not grateful for the reprieve?

Kurama: Well… Youko certainly is…

Youko: (In Kurama's head, no da) You're damned right, Shuuichi. I don't care if we never film again!

_Kurama: But the reviewers are getting antsy. We really ought to find them._

_Youko: I take no responsibility for this. Find them yourself if you want to film so badly._

_Kurama: Fine! Somebody took a major blow to his ego…_

_Youko: No shit. I'm a freaking llama!_

_Kurama: No comment…_

Hiei: Well? Where should we look?

Kurama: Um… let's start over here… (Points at random door)

(Three days later)

Botan: Where on Earth could they be? We've looked everywhere!

Kuwabara: Maybe not… what about in this broom closet?

YYH Cast: O.O -.- Right…

Kuwabara: (Opens door anyways and is promptly hit on the head with an anvil and set on fire) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

YYH Cast: O.O;;;

Kurama: I think we found them… -.-()

(Saru can be seen obsessively playing video games and ignoring Kuwabara's screams as he continues to burn. Yusuke pours water on Kuwabara to shut him up)

Yukina: Er… Saru?

Saru: Yo.

Yukina: Um… Where are Ryouko and Himizu?

Saru: Next room.

Yukina: Is the door… er… rigged?

Saru: Huh uh.

Yukina: Ok. Arigatou.

Saru: Uh huh… (Keeps playing video games)

(The Cast opens the door and peaks in)

(Ryouko and Himizu are sprawled on a pair of large comfy couches. Both are holding plates full of cookies. There are dozens of empty packages of cookies strewn around the room and a few hundred empty Mountain Dew cans with several more unopened 24-packs nearby. There is also a giant TV in front of them and Himizu is holding the remote. Both girls are staring in wide-eyed fascination as a very sexy guy with longish brown hair walks into a trailer and begins poking around. Ryouko gives a slight squeal and half hides her face with her hands. Himizu sits up straight, looking livid)

Himizu: What the hell are you doing, Ryan? You moron, that's where the criminal is! What the hell are you doing?

Ryouko: Ahhh, no not Ryan, what is he doing? (Hides face, but instantly peaks back out)

Himizu: RYAN, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? DON'T OPEN THE FREAKING CLOSET!

(Ryan opens the closet and is shot with a nail gun right next to his eye)

(Ryouko screams, Himizu swears)

Himizu: DAMNIT ERIC, THIS IS ALL YOUR FREAKING FAULT!

(Ryan manages to call for backup; Eric hears the call and takes Ryan to the hospital, with Himizu swearing at him the whole time. Eventually the criminal is caught, the nail removed from Ryan's face and Eric and Ryan apologize for fighting earlier in the show)

Himizu: Damnit, Eric! You shouldn't have skipped work! All your fault! Damn you!

Ryouko: Don't damn Eric! He's way too sexy!

Himizu: Ooh, that's true. But Ryan is way sexier.

Ryouko: Yeah, but Warrick is even hotter than Ryan.

Himizu: Sure, but Greg is hotter than Warrick any day.

(C.S.I. Miami ends and an episode of C.S.I. starts playing. After about ten minutes, they get a glimpse of a character named Nick, who is also quite loved by Ryouko and Himizu. However…)

Himizu and Ryouko: OH MY FREAKING GOD!

Ryouko: HE GREW A MOUSTACHE!

Himizu: WHAT THE CRAP? Now he looks like Don Juan.

Ryouko: (Cracks up) Yes, he does! Oh my gosh! (Laughs hysterically)

YYH Cast: O.O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Kurama: Ahem.

Ryouko and Himizu: WAH! (Twitch spastically and turn to the door, seeing it open they fall off the couch shielding their eyes)

Ryouko: IT BURNS!

Himizu: NOOO! Not the outside world! They've come for me at last! Don Juan, Greg, save me! (Falls prostrate before the TV)

Hiei: The TV has made them even more stupid than usual.

Kurama: Himizu, chill out, it's just us!

Himizu: So you say… but the Cosmic Sheep have their ways… (Mutters darkly to herself as she buries herself in the blankets on the couch until only her eyes peep out as she continues to stare at the TV, which has been paused still showing Nick. She then starts muttering about his Don Juan moustache)

Kurama: So… why were you three buried in the recesses of the studio instead of filming?

Ryouko: Well, Himizu said she had no ideas, so we decided to take a break. We decided to watch crime shows and eat junk food until we made ourselves sick or she had ideas. She still doesn't seem to have many, does she?

Kurama: How can she have writer's block? All she has to do is type in our names and a bit of extra dialogue into a script that's already written for her!

Ryouko: Don't ask me, I'm just here to mooch off her never-ending supply of yummy foods and crime shows! Did you know she's messed with the TV so that it plays all the old and new episodes of every single show we want! We watched Law & Order for 24 hours a day for nine whole days, then we went to sleep because Himizu said that you can die from lack of sleep after ten days, then we watched even more TV and we're still not done, but we decided to watch some of the new shows that we missed and NICK GREW A MOUSTACE! (Cries, and hugs Hiei)

Hiei: … Why me?

Kurama: Er, Himizu?

Himizu: (Still under the blankets) I KNOW, I KNOW! I NEED TO FILM!

Kurama: Why don't you just get it over with…?

Himizu: Well, I suppose that would work… But then I'm going to watch crime shows until my brain fries.

Hiei: What brain?

Mallet: WHAM!

Hiei: . X.X

Ryouko: O.O -.-#

Himizu: Heh heh… HELP! (Runs out the door, past Saru and back into the main studio area)

Saru: I feel a draft… Will someone shut the door?

(When we left off, Guard Jin just informed Youko Kuzco that village leader Yusuke Pacha was here to see him and Youko Kuzco fired Genkai Yzma)

Youko Kuzco: (Gets comfortable on his throne) Ah! Okay, show him in!

Yusuke Pacha: (Pretending quite badly to be nervous) Uh, afternoon, you Royal Pain-in-the-ass… I mean, your Highness. I'm here because I received a summons --

Youko Kuzco: Hey, there he is! My main village man!

Yusuke Pacha: …Uh, Yusuke Pacha. Anyway, I got this summons --

Youko Kuzco: Yusuke Pacha! That's right, you are just the man I wanted to see!

Yusuke Pacha: I am?

Youko Kuzco: Word on the street is you can fix my problem. (Pause) (Gets off throne and comes to stand next to Yusuke Pacha) You can fix my problem, can't you?

Yusuke Pacha: (Shrugs) Sure, I'll do what I can.

Youko Kuzco: Good, good, that's just what I wanted to hear. Are you aware of just how important your village is to the empire?

(They start walking to another room… really just two feet away)

Yusuke Pacha: Well, I know we grow the crops that you use here at the palace. We also herd the llamas that you… (Youko Kuzco lifts a sheet to reveal a small model of Yusuke Pacha's village)…my village?

Youko Kuzco: Oh yeah. You've got a pretty sweet little setup up there on top of that hill, don't ya, hahahaha!

Yusuke Pacha: Yup, my family has lived on that hilltop for the last six generations.

Youko Kuzco: Uh-huh. So tell me, where do you find you get the most sun?

Yusuke Pacha: (Pushes Youko Kuzco to the other side of the model) Oh, I'd say just on the other side of those trees. When the sun hits that ridge just right, these hills sing.

Youko Kuzco: Well that settles it.

Yusuke Pacha: Really?

Youko Kuzco: Yup, problem solved, thanks for coming.

Yusuke Pacha: That's it? That's all you wanted me for?

Youko Kuzco: I just needed an insider's opinion before I Okayed this spot for my pool.

Yusuke Pacha: Uh, your pool?

Youko Kuzco: (slams down a model of Kuzcotopia on top of where Yusuke Pacha's house was, smashing the tiny cottage) Boo-yah! Welcome to Kuzcotopia, my ultimate summer getaway! Complete with waterslide! (Huge smile)

Yusuke Pacha: What?

Youko Kuzco: Isn't it great? It's my birthday gift to me! I'm so happy! (Hugs model)

Yusuke Pacha: Uh-uh-uh-uh--I don't understand how this could happen.

Youko Kuzco: Well, let me clear it up for you. At my birthday celebration tomorrow, I give the word, and your town will be destroyed to make way for this! (Pushes button and music plays while confetti is thrown everywhere. Whistles along with the model) So if I were you, I'd pick up some change of address forms on the way home.

Yusuke Pacha: But, um, where will we live?

Youko Kuzco: Hmmm...don't know, don't care. How's that?

Yusuke Pacha: Oh, but wait, you can't… (Is blocked by guards with spears)

Youko Kuzco: (Eye twitch as he hears he's not allowed to do something) When I give the word, your little town thingy will be bye-bye. Bye-bye! Boo-hoo.

(Yusuke Pacha is dragged off swearing, while Youko Kuzco preens)

Youko Kuzco (Voiceover): Oh, yeah, everything was going my way. (Shot of Genkai Yzma smashing a statue of him with a giant mallet) Or, so I thought.

(In Genkai Yzma's Chamber, very dark, spooky, and gloomy, of course)

(Genkai Yzma is smashing many stone images of Youko Kuzco. She paces around furiously, forcing Hiei Kronk to put the statues where she can easily smash them and he has to hold the mallet in his mouth in between statues…)

Genkai Yzma: He can't get rid of me that easily! Who does that ungrateful little worm think he is? Does he -- a little to the left -- have any idea of who he's dealing with? How could he do this to me? Why, I practically raised him!

Hiei Kronk: Yeah, you think he would've turned out better…

Genkai Yzma: Yeah, go figure.

Hiei Kronk: Well, it's better you're taking out your anger on these things instead of on the real Youko Kuzco.

Genkai Yzma: (Moment of brilliance) That's it, Hiei Kronk, that's it! I'll get rid of Youko Kuzco!

Hiei Kronk: The real Youko Kuzco?

Genkai Yzma: (Rolls eyes) Dimwit… Of course the real Youko Kuzco! Don't you see? It's perfect! With him out of the way and no heir to the throne, I'll take over and rule the empire! Brilliant!

Hiei Kronk: So, how does that work with you being fired and all?

Genkai Yzma: The only ones who know about that are the three of us, soon to be the two of us.

Hiei Kronk: And I'm one of those two, right?

Genkai Yzma: To the secret lab! (They run off) Pull the lever, Hiei Kronk! (Trapdoor opens under her) WRONG LEVERRRRRRRR! (She falls through)

Hiei Kronk: I'M FREE! I mean… uh… oops…?

(A few seconds later, Genkai Yzma comes through a door with a crocodile attached to her leg. Slaps croc, which runs away in fear)

Genkai Yzma: Why do we even have that lever? Get out of my way!

(Genkai Yzma pulls the other lever and they are bumped into a roller coaster car.)

Random Voice: Please remain seated and keep your arms and legs in at all times.

(The 'ride' starts and they go swirling downhill.)

Hiei Kronk: Whee! Faster, faster! Genkai Yzma, put your hands in the air! Woo-hoo! (A/N: Wow, can you imagine Hiei doing that?)

(They land in the secret lab and they are now dressed in doctor's smocks. They slap hands and then run over to the table.)

Genkai Yzma: Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I'll turn him into a flea. (Badly drawn cartoon of a flea with a silver fox tail and fox ears) A harmless little flea. And then I'll put that flea in a box, and I'll put that box inside another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives -- ahahahahaha! -- I'll smash it with a hammer! (Badly drawn cartoon of chibi Genkai Yzma smashing the box with a mallet and stomping on the remains, laughing like a maniac) It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say! Or, to save on postage, I'll just poison him with this! Take it, Hiei Kronk, feel the power.

Hiei Kronk: (Holding the vial) Oh. I can feel it.

Genkai Yzma: Our moment of triumph approaches! It's DINNERTIME!

(Genkai Yzma's Chamber)

(It's almost time for dinner.)

Genkai Yzma: So, is everything ready for tonight?

Hiei Kronk: Oh yeah, I thought we'd start off with soup and a light salad, and then see how we feel after that.

Genkai Yzma: Not the dinner! The… you know...

Hiei Kronk: Oh, right! The poison. The poison for Youko Kuzco. The poison chosen specially to kill Youko Kuzco. Youko Kuzco's poison. (Sees Genkai Yzma rolling her eyes) That poison?

Genkai Yzma: Yes, that poison! -.-#

Hiei Kronk: Gotcha covered. (Smirks and pulls out the vial)

Genkai Yzma: Excellent! A few drops in his drink, then I'll propose a toast, and he'll be dead before dessert!

Hiei Kronk: Which is a real shame, because it's going to be delicious.

Youko Kuzco: (Slams the door open) Boom, bam, baby! Let's get to the grub! I am one hungry king of the world! (Sits down with a flourish) So...no hard feelings about being let go?

Genkai Yzma: (Forced smile) None whatsoever. Hiei Kronk, get the Emperor a drink.

Hiei Kronk: Drink. Riiiiiiiiiight. (He goes over to a table and mixes up the drinks and pours the poison into Youko Kuzco's glass) Your Highness.

Youko Kuzco: (Sniffs the air delicately) Is something burning?

Hiei Kronk: My spinach puffs! (Sets his drink tray down and runs into the kitchen)

(Long silence. Crickets chirp in the background. Saru runs screaming through the background and begins whacking the crickets to death with a baseball bat)

Youko Kuzco: Ahem. Soooooooo...he seems...nice.

Genkai Yzma: He is.

Youko Kuzco: He's, what, in his late twenties?

Genkai Yzma: …I'm not sure.

Hiei Kronk: (coming out holding the spinach puffs) Saved 'em!

Youko Kuzco and Genkai Yzma: Oh, that's great, very good job.

Hiei Kronk: Watch it. They're still hot.

Genkai Yzma: Ahem. Hiei Kronk, the Emperor needs his -- drink.

Hiei Kronk: Right. Oh -- riiiiiiiiight.

(Goes over to the table with the drinks, but he can't remember which one he put the poison into, so he pours all three of the drinks into a container and shakes it. He then pours a little bit into each glass.)

Youko Kuzco: Hey, Hiei Kronky, everything okay back there?

Hiei Kronk: Oh, uh -- the drinks were a bit on the -- warm side! (Clouds of smoke rise around Hiei Kronk and there are several loud bands.) Eh-heh. (He walks back to the large table) Hey, did you see that sky today? Talk about blue.

Genkai Yzma: Yes, Hiei Kronk. Riveting. A toast to the Emperor! Long live Youko Kuzco!

Hiei Kronk: (Aside to Genkai Yzma) Don't drink the wine. Poison! (Mimes dying)

(As Youko Kuzco drinks Genkai Yzma pours hers into a plant when he's not looking.)

Youko Kuzco: Ah. Tasty! (Falls face first into his food.)

Genkai Yzma: Finally! Good work, Hiei Kronk.

Hiei Kronk: Oh, they're so easy to make, I'll get you the recipe.

Genkai Yzma: Now to get rid of the body.

Youko Kuzco: (Sits back up) Okay!

Genkai Yzma: Ooooh!

Hiei Kuzco: What were we saying?

Genkai Yzma: Uh--uh--we were just making a toast to your long and healthy rule...

Youko Kuzco: (As he speaks he begins to turn into a llama) Right. So, what're you gonna do? (Llama ears) I mean, you've been around here a long time, and I really mean a long time, um, I thought it might be difficult for someone of your age adjusting to life in the private sector. Hey, Hiei Kronk, can you top me off, pal? Be a friend? Now about the finding new work. (Llama hooves)

Genkai Yzma: (Under her breath and motions with the broccoli) Hit him on the head!

Youko Kuzco: That's -- that's gonna be tough.

Hiei Kronk: (Holds up the tray while looking confused) More broccoli?

(Genkai Yzma looks livid and hits her hand with her fist. Hiei Kronk finally gets it)

Youko Kuzco: Because you're...you know. Let's face it, you're no spring chicken, (Llama nose) and I mean that in the best possible way - (Hiei Kronk hits him on the head with the tray and he goes unconscious)

Genkai Yzma: (jumps up) What! A llama! He's supposed to be dead!

Hiei Kronk: Yeah, weird.

Genkai Yzma: (Teeth clenched) Let me see that vial! This isn't poison, this is extract of llama!

Hiei Kronk: You know, in my defense, your poisons all look alike, you might think of re-labeling some of them.

Genkai Yzma: Take him out of town and finish the job now!

Hiei Kronk: What about dinner?

Genkai Yzma: (Annoyed) Hiei Kronk, this is kind of important.

Hiei Kronk: How about dessert?

Genkai Yzma: (Pause) Well, I suppose there's time for dessert.

Hiei Kronk: And coffee?

Genkai Yzma: All right, a quick cup of coffee. Then take him out of town and finish the job!

Hiei: Slave driver…

Himizu: AND CUT! Mwa ha ha, I'm finished!

Kurama: You did this just to get that weight off your conscience, didn't you?

Himizu: No da. But come on. I have three fics that I need to finish, plus a whole bunch more that I need to work on and post.

Hiei: And yet, you just wasted two months locked up watching TV.

Himizu: -.- Stay out of this, shrimp!

Ryouko: So, now what?

Himizu: Well… (Grins)

(Five minutes later)

Ryouko: This was a great idea. Traveling salesmen are good for something after all.

Himizu: You betcha! Now maybe we can get down to serious business!

(Saru is back to playing her videogames and the YYH Cast is locked out of the rooms that look like broom closets by extremely advanced security systems and evil looking wolves ready to rip them to pieces. The girls are back on their comfy couches with their cookies and soda pop. Himizu hits a button on her remote control and a new episode of Criminal Minds starts playing)

Ryouko: Ah, this is the life. Lots of TV, lots of food, and no worries…

Himizu: Until the reviewers start harassing me, but we'll wait until that happens…

(The girls high-five and settle back to watch TV)

Kurama: This won't end well…


	5. My Shoulder Angel!

A/N: Since today (January 14) is my sweet 16th, I thought I'd give my reviewers a little present by taking the time to write a new chapter for this fic! I'm starting to get ideas for BSTV's, helped by a few faithful correspondents (you know who you are), but since my exams are next week, I make no promises for a deadline. Hope you like this chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, Emperor's New Groove, any crime shows, or the Blue Jackets! I can't even get tickets, goddamnit!

Kurama: We really ought to get her writing again… Reviewers may set the studio on fire.

Hiei: So?

Kurama: Well, it wouldn't be a problem, except that the doors are locked. Youko tried to make a break for it the other day.

Hiei: -.- I see…

Yusuke: But how do we get past the system and the rabid wolves?

Kurama: They're not rabid, Ryouko would never have tolerated that. I can beat the system easily enough, but the wolves… we need bait…

Yusuke: (Smirk) Just a second…

(A couple minutes later)

(Kuwabara runs past covered in steak sauce and screaming as the wolves chase him)

Yusuke: (Dusts off hands) That takes care of that!)

Cast: -.-()

(A while later)

Kurama: Okay, we're in. (Opens door to once again reveal Saru playing her video games and totally oblivious to their presence.)

Voice of Himizu: OH MY GOD, YOU BASTARD! THAT'S IT NIKY, MAKE HIM PAY FOR THAT! WHO CARES IF HE'S SID THE WHATEVER!

(The Cast pushes open the door to the other room and find an odd sight. Himizu is on the edge of her seat staring rapturously at the TV screen, which is showing a hockey game between the Columbus Blue Jackets and the Pittsburgh Penguins. Ryouko is sitting on the couch with her headphones on, jamming to some song on her iPod and reading a mystery book. Several other books and manga are stacked around her)

(On the TV, several hockey players are involved in a scrum. Himizu's favorite player, Rick Nash, suddenly throws off his gloves and starts fighting with someone named LeClair (who totally started the fight), which makes Himizu go nuts)

Himizu: YOU BASTARD! RICK ISN'T SUPPOSED TO FIGHT! PICK ON SOMEONE ELSE! LIKE SHELLY! THEN I CAN WATCH AND LAUGH AS YOU GET SCRAPED OFF THE ICE! Oh shit, I forgot Jody got tossed out of the game already… OH WELL, SCREW YOU! POUND HIM RICK! WOOHOO!

(Referees give LeClair a game misconduct and throw him out of the game too, but Rick stays in the game)

Himizu: BOOYAH, MWA HA HA HA HA! DOWN WITH THE PENGUINS!

(TV announcers talk about how there were 152 minutes of penalties in the game and six or seven fights, meanwhile the Jackets are winning 6-1)

Himizu: MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Kurama: I'm suddenly terrified…

Hiei: Nuts, she's absolutely nuts!

Kurama: Let's leave for a while…

Cast: Good idea! (Flee)

(A/N: All the stuff that I said about the game really did happen, including a lot of the stuff I said)

(About an hour later)

Kurama: It's been quiet for a while… who wants to check?

(Cast shrugs, they go back in)

(Ryouko and Himizu are sitting in their chairs, crying and wiping their eyes as they watch an episode of Without A Trace. As Fix You, by Coldplay plays, the main character (Jack) hugs a woman. Both are crying. The woman is a friend of Jack's and her husband, another friend of Jack's, has just been murdered. The whole mood is sad, and isn't being helped by Fix You.)

TV: _Tears stream down your face, I promise you I will learn from my mistakes, Tears stream down on your face, And I…  
Lights will guide you home, And ignite your bones, And I will try to fix you._

(Show ends)

(Ryouko and Himizu crying)

Hiei: How can you ningens cry over something on TV that isn't even real? That's just pathetic.

Ryouko and Himizu: O.O -.- (Pull out mallets)

Himizu: How dare you enter the place of which entry is forbidden?

Yusuke: What?

Ryouko: Why did you come here when we told you not to?

Yusuke: Oh, Kurama says the reviewers are going to set your studio on fire and since we're all locked in here, we're all gonna die!

Ryouko and Himizu: GOOD! Maybe then we can finish watching TV…

Kurama: Ho boy…

Yusuke: This calls for drastic measures. (Pulls out a boom box which blares some retarded rap song)

Himizu and Ryouko: (Cover ears) NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Himizu: Fine! I'll film a couple more scenes! I thought you hated my parodies though, I can't figure out why you're making me to this.

Kurama: You'd be surprised what some people will do under threat of death…

Himizu: Not really…

Hiei: You wouldn't…

Himizu: Ok, fine, since you're all so eager… PLACES EVERYONE!

(Palace Hallway)

(As Youko Kuzco speaks we see Hiei Kronk sneaking through the city pulling a brown bag with wheels along behind him)

Youko Kuzco (Voice over): Guess where I am right now! Uh-huh, in the bag. Still think I'm not the victim here?

Saru: He's in the bag?

Himizu: Tied up, gagged, and drugged… Yes, he's in the bag. That's why the bag has wheels. There's no way in hell that Hiei would be able to lift that fat fox up!

Youko Kuzco (Voice over): Watch, it gets better!

Hiei Kronk: Ba dum… ba da da da dum… Ba dum da dum dum… (Continues singing)

Youko Kuzco (Voice over): Oh, he's doing his own theme music? Short, stupid, and tone-deaf. I am SOO glad I was unconscious for all of this.

(Hiei Kronk tosses Youko Kuzco into a stream that's heading out of the palace, purposely smacking him against the stone bridge for insulting him.)

Hiei Kronk: Mission accomplished.

Voice: You're not just going to let him die like that, are you?

Kronk: My shoulder angel!

(Chibi Hiei wearing a white robe and a halo and carrying a harp appears on his right shoulder and another chibi Hiei wearing a skintight red shirt and tight red pants and little red horns and carrying a little red pitchfork appears on his left shoulder)

Shoulder Devil: Don't listen to that guy! He's trying to lead you down the path of righteousness. I'm gonna lead you down the path that rocks!

Shoulder Angel: Oh, come off it.

Shoulder Devil: You come off it!

Shoulder Angel: You!

Shoulder Devil: You!

Shoulder Angel: You!

Shoulder Devil: You infinity!

Shoulder Angel: Grr... -.-#

Shoulder Devil: Listen up, big guy, I've got three good reasons why you should just walk away. Number one, look at that guy! He's got that sissy stringy music thing.

Shoulder Angel: We've been through this. It's a harp, and you know it.

Shoulder Devil: Oh, right, that's a harp… and that's a dress.

Shoulder Angel: Robe! -.-# (Death glare)

Shoulder Devil: Reason number two, Look what I can do. (Does a handstand, then stands on only one hand) Ha ha!

Hiei Kronk: Wha… what does that have to do with anyth…

Shoulder Angel: No, no, he's got a point.

Hiei Kronk: Listen, you guys, you're sort of confusing me, so… be gone… or, you know, however I get rid of you guys.

Shoulder Devil: That'll work.

(They disappear. Hiei Kronk runs and catches the bag before it goes over the edge. We pull back to see how high up the stream is from the ground. The shot pulls back until we are miles from the castle. There is a bug crawling along a tree branch. A chimp comes up and eats the bug.)

Youko Kuzco (Voice over) WTF? Um...what's with the chimp and the bug? Can we get back to me?

(Zoom back up to Hiei Kronk who is now going through the palace again looking for a way to get rid of Youko Kuzco.)

Hiei Kronk: Oh boy, think, think, think! What to do? What do I do with the body?

Yusuke Pacha: (Randomly standing nearby talking to a random demon dressed as a llama) What am I going to tell the village?

Hiei Kronk: Come on, Hiei Kronk, come on, Hiei Kronk! What do I do? What do I…

(Shot of Eikichi being tied to a set of stairs by Himizu)

(Hiei Kronk starts walking down said stairs and, of course, steps on the cat)

Kuwabara: EIKICHI!

Eikichi: MROW!

Hiei Kronk: (Falling down stairs) Back! Elbow! Shoulder! Ow… shit… baka cat… (Cat attacks him and scratches his face until Himizu runs in and boots the cat out a random window that had just appeared and disappears again as soon as the cat is gone) (The bag that he'd been holding Youko Kuzco in is also gone, but he quickly sees it on the back of Yusuke Pacha's cart, so he starts fighting his way through the crowd of random demons) Oh, hey! Hey you! Hey! Excuse me. Excuse me. Stop! Pardon me. Excuse me. Sorry about that. Comin' through. Hey, you with the… … cart? (Yusuke Pacha is gone) Cool, he's gone… er… I mean… Uh-oh. This is not good. Uhh. Hope that doesn't come back to haunt me. (Gasps in fake horror)

Himizu: (Rolls eyes) Good enough I guess…

Hiei: YOU GUESS! (Looks murderous)

Himizu: Well, you're not that great an actor…

Hiei: WHAT THE HELL?

Himizu: And you have serious anger management issues.

Hiei: WHAT! (Draws katana)

Himizu: I think I'll deduct from your pay.

Hiei: YOU DON'T PAY ME!

Himizu: I know. I don't pay you anything, which means that deducting means that I'm paying you negative figures, which means I get to steal your money. (Evil grin)

Hiei: Like hell you will!

Himizu: Why are you using the future tense? It happened in the past.

Hiei: I don't want a grammar less…on… What happened in the past?

(Ryouko and Saru, who have been absent for a while, come back in through a random door carrying bags of money and what looks like most of Hiei's possessions. Ryouko is also wearing a shirt, a pair of boot, a belt, and a headband that look suspiciously like Hiei's.)

Ryouko: Hi Hiei! Has Himizu talked to you yet? (A/N: Whoa… four of those words began with H, and two each began with T and Y… weird!)

Hiei: … (Twitches madly as an aura of fire begins building up around him)

Girls: Uh oh…

(Massive explosion, lots of fire and smoke, the black dragon races around out of control… then silence)

A/N: Cliffie? Maybe? I dunno... I figure that most of you can figure out what happened and happens. Oh well, that's enough of that. Read and Review! Ja ne!


	6. Llama Face!

A/N: I update again! I don't know why, but some reason I do not like this story as well as the Holy Grail. Monty Python inspired me. This doesn't. Grr... Anger! Maybe I'm just in a rut. I dunno. I just had a really hard time with this chapter, hence the delay. Oh well. I hope it's good. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing! But I'm trying to buy Mountain Dew from Pepsi and make it my own, and buy a Naruto headband! We'll see which comes first.

* * *

(After Hiei's black dragon went on a rampage, the studio… is magically unharmed, except there's fire everywhere, which doesn't seem to be burning the studio)

Hiei: What the crap?

Ryouko: You don't give us enough credit, Hiei-chan.

Saru: After what you did to our studio while we were filming The Holy Grail…

Himizu: We know you have a short temper and you would let the dragon loose at some point. So we took certain precautions.

Hiei: … o.O

Ryouko: This entire studio is fireproof and black dragon-proof. All we have to do is order our crew of ogres to put out the fires and we're good to go.

(Ogres start putting out fires)

Saru: So as you can see, the studio is none the worse for wear and we can start filming! Isn't that awesome!

Yusuke: Yeah… thrilling…

Himizu: Of course it is. Now let's get started! (Singing) Let's get it started; let's get it started in here!

Kurama: You're actually showing some enthusiasm… I'm worried.

Ryouko: She just watched the Blue Jackets beat Detroit by scoring four goals in the third period. Watching Columbus beat Detroit in such fashion is like a drug to her. It's the equivalent of poppies or caffeine.

Himizu: And my dad promised to take me to another game soon! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! (Dances around happily) Rick! And Niky! Yay!

Ryouko: It's like I've always said, freaks belong with freaks.

Himizu: Okay, let's get filming!

(At Yusuke Pacha's house)  
(Yusuke Pacha slowly comes up the hill. His son, Rinku Tipo, his daughter, Amanuma Chaca, and his wife, Keiko Chicha, are all awake, and waiting for him.)

Amanuma: (Wearing a dress) WHY AM I A GIRL?

(Rinku laughs hysterically)

Saru: Ish… he's right, that is kinda wrong… and isn't Yusuke's wife supposed to be pregnant?

Keiko: O.O WHAT?

Himizu: Ack… I think this script needs a brief rewrite… come back in an hour… (Starts to slink off to the notorious broom closet, but Kurama grabs her by the collar)

Kurama: Don't even think about it. Make the changes right here. No sneaking off until you've done a decent amount of filming.

Himizu: Fine! Bastard… What are you doing out anyways? I need Youko for this scene. Youko and his lovely llama costume. MWA HA HA!

Kurama: He doesn't want to come out…

Himizu: SCREW HIM! YOUKO, GET YER TAIL OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!

Kurama: Meep… (Changes into Youko)

Youko: Damn pansy treacherous human…

Himizu: Shut up and put on the damn llama suit! Okay, let's take it from the top!

(At Yusuke Pacha's house… again)

(Yusuke Pacha once again comes slowly up the hill. His son, Rinku Tipo, his other son, Amanuma Chaca, and his wife, Keiko Chicha (who is not pregnant), are all awake and waiting for him)  
Rinku Tipo: (Hopping around like a hyper small child) Mom, Mom! I think I'm still growing! Measure me again!  
Keiko Chicha: All right, Rinku Tipo. Stand still and let's see.  
Amanuma Chaca: Mom, you and I both know that it's impossible for him to have grown in the last five minutes.

Keiko Chicha: Mmm! Mmm! (Measuring Rinku Tipo, who keeps bouncing and trying to make himself appear taller)

Amanuma Chaca: Isn't it?

Keiko Chicha: (Gasps fakely making a line that's kinda far above the first line… but don't tell the kids!) Look how much you've grown!

Amanuma Chaca: What? Rinku Tipo, get out of the way. It's my turn again. Measure me.

Rinku Tipo: (spots Yusuke Pacha) Dad's home!

Yusuke Pacha: (Gags, but recovers when he sees the camera pointed at him) Hey, ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Come here. Ha ha ha!

Rinku Tipo: Dad! I ate a bug today!

Yusuke Pacha: Oh! Was Mom baking again? Heh. Don't tell her I said that.

Keiko Chicha: I heard that. (Death glare) Okay, everybody, move aside. (Kisses Yusuke Pacha, looking slightly embarrassed about kissing him in front of a camera)

Rinku Tipo: (Spoiling the moment) Dad, Dad, Dad! Look at how big I am!

Keiko Chicha: We were all measured today.

Yusuke Pacha: Oh. (Lifts eyebrow in bemusement, a flicker of a grin crossing his face as his perverted brain comes up with other meanings for that simple sentence, so Himizu beans him on the head with her giant mallet since that wasn't at all what Keiko was trying to say)

Rinku Tipo: I'm going through a growth spurt. I'm as big as you were when you were me. (Points excitedly to lines)

Yusuke Pacha: (Not even looking) Mm-hmm. Sure are.

Amanuma Chaca: That's not as impressive as my loose tooth. See? (Points to tooth that is definitely not loose)

Everyone: (Looks at Himizu)

Himizu: (Sitting between two empty 12 packs of Mountain Dew) Leave me alone… I don't care anymore…

Ryouko: The caffeine hasn't ignited yet… give her some time…

Keiko Chicha: Okay, okay, you two. Our deal was that you could stay awake until Daddy came home. Now say good night.

Rinku Tipo and Amanuma Chaca: Dad, do we have to? (Give Yusuke Pacha puppy dog eyes)

Yusuke Pacha: No, you two can stay up. (Long silence as everyone waits. Keiko is trying to look angry, but just looks very embarrassed. Yusuke finally grits teeth) We're just gonna be sittin' here tellin' each other how much we love each other. Right, honey? (Yusuke and Keiko turn bright red)

Rinku Tipo: Ugh!

Amanuma Chaca: Blecch!

Both: Good night. (They run away)

(Yusuke and Keiko look away from each other, embarrassed)

Keiko Chicha: …So… what did the emperor want? (Trying to break the awkward silence)

Yusuke Pacha: Ahem. You know what? He couldn't see me.

Keiko Chicha: Couldn't see you? Why not?

Yusuke Pacha: I don't know.

Keiko Chicha: Well, that's just rude.

Yusuke Pacha: Well, he is the emperor. I'm sure he's busy. Yeah right, he's probably more of an ass than Koenma, but okay…

Keiko Chicha: No, no, no, no, no. Emperor or no emperor, it's called common courtesy.

Yusuke Pacha: Kieko Chicha...

Keiko Chicha: If that were me, I'd march right back there and demand to see him, and you know I would.

Yusuke Pacha: Hey, come on, chill a little.

Keiko Chicha: Forget it! I want to go and give that guy a piece of my mind. That kind of behavior just…just…uhh! (Snarls like an angry cat) I gotta go wash something. (Scurries off, while Yusuke Pacha just stands there looking "gloomy") Yusuke Pacha? You okay?

Yusuke Pacha: Hmm? Oh, yeah, I'm just a little tired from the trip. Um...I'm gonna go put Misty away.

(Yusuke Pacha goes and sits down outside and hangs his head. Then the scene is replaced by a cute little cartoon of the scene and Youko Kuzco the Llama comes into view holding a magic marker.)

Youko Kuzco the Llama: Uh, heh heh. Hi. Excuse me. Two seconds here. Um, I'm the one in the cart. Remember? This story's about me (circles himself), not him (puts an 'X' over Yusuke Pacha). Okay. You got it? All right. We're gonna move ahead. Sorry to slow you down. (He steps out of the frame, but comes in a few seconds later and completely scratches out Yusuke Pacha.) Heh heh heh.  
(The cartoon disappears, the real scene reappears, and Yusuke Pacha begins unloading the cart. He comes across the bag with Youko Kuzco the Llama in it and opens it.)

Yusuke Pacha: Huh? Wha?

Youko Kuzco (can I stop typing the llama part? Of course I can… you know he's a llama): Uhh. Oh.

Yusuke Pacha: Where'd you come from, little guy?

Youko Kuzco: No touchy. (Sways like he's drunk… but for all we know, he is!)

Yusuke Pacha: (falls over backward) Aah! Demon llama!

Youko Kuzco: Demon llama? Where? (looks over at Misty, the normal llama.)

Misty (AKA, random demon): Aah!

Youko Kuzco: Aah! Oh, no! (Tries to run, but keeps falling over like a drunk) Oh, no! Oh, no! Ooh hoo hoo! (Cartwheels and falls over, hitting his head on an anvil, while Himizu laughs like a maniac) Ow! Ow, my head!

Yusuke Pacha: Okay, demon llama. Just take it easy. I mean you no harm.

Youko Kuzco: What are you talking about -- oh, wait. I know you. You're that whiny peasant!

Yusuke Pacha: WTF? Emperor Youko Kuzco?

Youko Kuzco: Cha. Who do you think you were talkin' to?

Yusuke Pacha: Uh...how did -- um...you don't...look like the emperor. (Makes hand gestures to emphasize the point, framing Youko Kuzco's face and such)

Youko Kuzco: What do you mean I don't look like the emperor?

Yusuke Pacha: Uh...oh...do this...(wiggles his fingers)

Youko Kuzco: What is this, some kind of little game you country folk like to (tries to do it and sees he has hooves) -- aah! It can't be! Aah! Aah! Aah! (looks in the water trough) My face! Aah! My beautiful, beautiful face!

Yusuke Pacha: Okay, okay, okay.

Youko Kuzco: I'm an ugly, stinky llama!

Yusuke Pacha: True… I mean…Wait, okay, your Majesty.

Youko Kuzco: Llama face! (Twitches spastically)

Yusuke Pacha: Shh! What happened?

Youko Kuzco: I'm tryin' to figure that out, okay? Ohh-ho! I can't remember. I can't remember anything. (Slaps self) Wait a minute. I remember you. I remember telling you that I was building my pool where your house was and then you got mad at me. Oh! And you turned me into a llama!

Yusuke Pacha: What the hell? No, I did not.

Youko Kuzco: Yes, and then you kidnapped me.

Yusuke Pacha: Why the hell would I kidnap a llama?

Youko Kuzco: I have no idea! You're the criminal mastermind, not me.

Yusuke Pacha: What?

Youko Kuzco: Hmm. (Looks thoughtful) You're right. That's giving you WAY too much credit. Okay, I have to get back to the palace. Genkai Yzma's got that "secret lab." I'll just snap my fingers and order her to change me back. Hey, you. No time to waste. Let's go. (Starts staggering off, but Yusuke Pacha just stands there watching) Hey, Tiny, I want to get out of this body. Wouldn't you? Now, let's go.

Yusuke Pacha: (Hesitates, but then nerves himself and starts talking) Build your summer home somewhere else.

Youko Kuzco: (Freezes, then turns and starts walking back towards Yusuke Pacha) You want to run that by me again?

Yusuke Pacha: I can't let you go back unless you change your mind and build your summer home somewhere else.

Youko Kuzco: Hmm, I got a little secret for you. Come here. No, closer. I DON'T MAKE DEALS WITH PEASANTS!

Yusuke Pacha: (Twitch) Then I guess I can't take you back.

Youko Kuzco: Fine, I don't need you. I can find my own way back.

Yusuke Pacha: I wouldn't recommend it. It's a little dangerous if you don't know the way.

Youko Kuzco: Nice try, pal.

Yusuke Pacha: No, really, I'm telling you, there are jaguars and snakes and quicksand.

Youko Kuzco: I'm not listening.

Yusuke Pacha: I'm not kidding. Listen, you cannot go in there.

Youko Kuzco: La la la. Oh, heh heh. Still not listening. (Struts off into the woods)

Yusuke Pacha: Aw, you... Fine. Fine. Go ahead! If there's no Kuzco, there's no Kuzcotopia. Takes care of my problem. Hmph.

Ryouko: To answer your questions, yes we gave Youko some of Chuu's alcohol. It actually shut him up and he actually filmed the scene, how sweet is that?

Saru: He was supposed to be unconscious, and Himizu wanted to do that, but we realized that there was no guarantee when he'd wake up, so we decided to just give him alcohol. It produces the same effects.

Himizu: (Looking rather listless) Yay… we filmed a scene…

Mitari: What's her problem?

Himizu: Caffeine… sugar… TV… (Sways on the spot)

Ryouko: She'll be fine… she's just going through withdrawal…

Himizu: WHY DIDN'T RYAN ASK CALLEIGH OUT! SHE WAS RIGHT THERE, IT WAS SO PERFECT, BUT YOU DIDN'T, YOU LOSER!

Saru: (Groans) What a nutcase…

Ryouko: It's okay Himizu, let's go watch Criminal Minds!

Himizu: But… that's the one where Reid gets seduced… (Whimpers)

Ryouko: Hm… I'll give you that…

Himizu: And then the stalker is going to kill him… T.T

Ryouko: I really don't think that will happen…

Himizu: I DON'T WANT REID TO DIE! T.T

Ryouko: Okay, time for therapy! (Knocks Himizu out with a mallet, then starts injecting caffeine into her veins) She'll be fine… (Drags Himizu off to broom closet to start television therapy)

Saru: Yes, videogames!

YYH Cast: … -.-

* * *

A/N: ... Yeah... Just to let you know, Reid didn't die, I watched that episode a couple days after I wrote that end bit. He saved the actress, disarmed the stalker, everyone was happy, including me cuz the stalker killed the stupid manager. Yay! Yeah... I love Criminal Minds! I love all crime shows! Except NCIS and CSI New York... I don't know why... anyways... I don't know when I'll update... I haven't even started the next chapter yet... X.X Read and Review! Ja ne! 


	7. Bring it On

A/N: Updating again, yay! I had a random urge to write this chapter yesterday, becuase I stayed home from school because I have a touch of the flu, and I was bored, so I wrote this. Yeah... Read it. Enjoy it. REVIEW IT, DAMNIT! Ooh, I've been forgetting to do this! Read Dra Gan's story, Ac's and Shotguns! I think he talks a little too much about cyborgs and machine thingies that I do not understand, but the plot is really good, and I'm in it! YAY! (Grin) That automatically makes it a good story. I'm kidding. It's really good, so go read it while you wait for me to update, okay? Okay!

Disclaimer: I do not own YYH, Hannibal Lecter, or the The Emperor's New Groove!

(YYH Cast is sitting around eating whatever food they can find surprisingly, it is quite good and trying to entertain themselves while they wait for the girls to emerge)

Kurama: … Well, at least Youko has gone into what appears to be permanent hiding…

Everyone: … (Giving him looks that say 'you're really reaching…')

Kurama: (Sigh) Just trying to get some conversation going…

(More silence)

Kurama: You know what, this is silly! (Stands up and marches towards the forbidden area.)

Yusuke: Dude, suicide!

Kurama: Whatever… hey, has anyone seen Hiei?

(Blank stares… no one has seen Hiei in a really long time)

Kurama: O.O (Remembering a certain joke played by Himizu and Saru during the last parody involving Ryouko and Hiei)

Everyone else: O.O (Also remembering)

(Mass stampede to the forbidden area!)

Saru: WHY WON'T YOU DIE, YOU DAMN MUTANT! (Glaring furiously at video games)

YYH Cast: Okey-dokey then… (Moves on quickly)

Mystery Voice 1: I'm having a friend over for dinner… Good-bye Clarice.

Mystery Voice 2: Dr. Lecter? Dr. Lecter!

(Cheesy music as credits play)

(A/N: I know this probably isn't how it goes, but I haven't seen that movie in almost a year, so my memory is kinda rusty, get over it!)

Hiei: That was actually quite good.

Ryouko: Told you you'd like it.

Himizu: This ending is way better than the book. In the book, he writes her a letter and she ends up in bed with that one dorky scientist who liked bugs.

Hiei: What? That's dumb.

Ryouko: No da. But the movie kicks ass. What shall we watch next?

Himizu: (Sarcastically) Well, we watched Red Dragon, which is the prequel to Silence of the Lambs… then we watched Silence of the Lambs… and sitting next to the TV is Hannibal, which is the sequel to Silence of the Lambs… I dunno, it seems like a no-brainer to me…

Ryouko: Shut up, baka!

(Himizu yelps, she has probably just been hit on the head with the nearest object to Ryouko's hand)

(Kurama shoves the door open. Ryouko and Hiei are lying at opposite ends of a couch and Himizu is reclining on a chair, glaring at Ryouko)

Kurama: Hi. Enjoying yourselves?

Himizu: But of course, Sir Lancelot. (Laughs at the look of Kurama's face.) Anyways, yes we are. Why? Are you asking me to get the hell off my lazy ass and film for a while?

Kurama: Uh, that would be the general idea…

Himizu: Don't say 'uh', it doesn't sound smart-ass enough for you.

Kurama: What's with all the swearing?

Ryouko: Because she wants a Mountain Dew and they're all out in the general area and she's too whacked to use her Authoress Powers to get them. She'll be fine.

Kurama: Right… can we film a couple scenes while you're out there…? Maybe?

Himizu: (Grumbles) Fine, sure… dunno why since I don't even know if anyone's reading this fic anymore since I'm only getting one or two reviews per chapter.

Kurama: If you're getting one or two reviews per chapter, doesn't that mean that you have one or two readers?

Himizu: (Glare) Shut up.

(In some very fake-looking jungle consisting of about four or five plastic palm trees)

Youko Kuzco: Scary jungle. Right. Ooh, a leaf. Ooh, it might attack me. Oh, it's a scary tree. I'm afraid. Ha ha. Please. Never find my way? I'm the emperor, and as such, I'm born with an innate sense of direction. Okay, where am I? Wha-(looks over at a fly trapped in a spider web.)

Karasu the Fly: (Yes, he is now magically a fly! Leave me alone!) Help me! Help me! Help me!

Youko Kuzco: Uuh… hell no.

Karasu the Fly: Too late. (Is killed by Bui the Spider)

Youko Kuzco: Okay, that was the freakiest thing I've ever seen. (The bushes rustle) Aah! (Bucky, AKA Risu Squirrely-chan, Himizu's pet squirrel, hops out.) Hmm. What do you want? (Bucky holds out an acorn) Oh, for me? (Bucky smiles) Why, I don't know what to say. (Throws the acorn and hits Bucky in the head.)

Bucky: Ow!

Youko Kuzco: Hit the road, Bucky. (he turns to leave and stumbles down into a jaguar nest.) Aah! Ow! Huh? Uh-oh. (Bucky shows up. She pulls out a balloon and blows it up. He then fashions the balloon into the shape of a llama. She then holds up a very sharp needle.) No, no. No, no, no, no. No, no. No, don't. (Bucky pops the balloon with a big bang. The jaguars sleep through it.) Ha! Oops… (That wakes them up. And the chase begins) Aah! No! Aah! Aah! (Finally he's cornered on the edge of a cliff.) You killer jaguars...whoa!

(Yusuke Pacha comes swinging down aiming for the jaguars.)

Yusuke Pacha: Aah-eee! Aah! Aah! Yee-aah! (Bad Tarzan imitations)

(The jaguars move out of the way and he swings right by. He then swings back around and grabs Youko Kuzco.)

Youko Kuzco: Aah!

Yusuke Pacha: Don't worry, your Highness. I gotcha. You're safe now.

(Suddenly the vine breaks and gets caught around a log. The vine swings them around until they are tied on opposite sides of the log.)

Youko Kuzco: (Looking VERY annoyed) Maybe I'm just new to this whole rescuing thing, but this, to me, might be considered kind of a step backwards, wouldn't you say?

Yusuke Pacha: No, no, no. It's -- it's okay. This -- this is all right. We can figure this out.

(Suddenly the log begins to break off.)

Youko Kuzco: -.- I hate you.

Yusuke Pacha: No!

Youko Kuzco: Yaah! (the log lands in the river) Aah! Ow! Whoo hoo hoo! (Coughing) Aah! Ow! I don't know about you (rolling eyes), but I'm getting all funned out.

Yusuke Pacha: Uh-oh.

Youko Kuzco: -.- Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall.

Yusuke Pacha: Yep.

Youko Kuzco: Sharp rocks at the bottom?

Yusuke Pacha: Most likely.

Youko Kuzco: Bring it on. (shot of a huge cartoon waterfall as they go over it.) Boo-yah! Whoo! (They land in a kiddie swimming pool)

(Yusuke Pacha "struggles" to the surface and drags an unconscious Youko Kuzco out with him.)  
Yusuke Pacha: Lead ass… Oh, right… lines… Your Highness. Your Highness, can you hear me? Oh, boy. Come on, breathe. Breathe! Ohh, why me? (He moves Youko Kuzco into the position for mouth-to-mouth resuscitation) Ooh! All right. (Youko Kuzco's tongue flops out and apparently Youko has really bad breath) Oh! (Holds nose, grimacing)

Youko Kuzco: (wakes up just as Yusuke Pacha leans over him) Aah!

Yusuke Pacha and Youko Kuzco: Eeeww!  
(Himizu, Ryouko, and Saru laugh their asses off)

(Later)

Yusuke Pacha: For the last time, it was not a kiss.

Youko Kuzco: Well, whatever you call it...it was disgusting. And if you would've done what I ordered you to do in the first place, we could've all been spared your little "kiss of life." But now that you're here, you will take me back to the palace. I'll have Genkai Yzma change me back, and then I'll start construction on Kuzcotopia. Oh, yeah.

Yusuke Pacha: Okay, now, look, I think we got off on the wrong foot here.

Youko Kuzco: Mm-hmm. (Not listening)

Yusuke Pacha: I just think if you really thought about it, you'd decide to build your home on a different hilltop.

Youko Kuzco: And… why would I do that?

Yusuke Pacha: Because...deep down, I think you'll realize that you're forcing an entire village out of their homes just for you.

Youko Kuzco: And that's...bad?

Yusuke Pacha: Well, yeah. Nobody's that heartless.

Youko Kuzco: Mmm. Now take me back.

Yusuke Pacha: What? Wait, wait. How can you be this way? All you care about is building your summer home and filling it with stuff for you.

Youko Kuzco: Uh, yeah. Doy. Me. Everyone else in the kingdom gets it. You're the only one that doesn't seem to be with the program, eh, Yusuke Pacha?

Yusuke Pacha: You know what? Someday, you're going to wind up all alone, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

Youko Kuzco: Thanks for that. I'll log that away. Now, for the final time, I order you to take me back to the palace.

Yusuke Pacha: Looks to me like you're stuck out here, because unless you change your mind, I'm not taking you back.

Youko Kuzco: (walking away) Because unless you change your mind, I'm not taking you back. Me, me, me. Moo, moo, moo. (Throws a rock that hits Yusuke Pacha in the head. Yusuke Pacha swings around to look at him.) Huh? What? I didn't do anything. I didn't -- Somebody's throwing stuff. What's going on?

Yusuke Pacha: He's never going to change his mind.

Youko Kuzco: Ohh, how am I ever going to get out of here?

(At the lovely fake-looking palace)  
(Genkai Yzma is giving a speech to the masses.)

Genkai Yzma: And so, it is with great sadness that we mourn the sudden departure of our beloved prince...taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his eighteenth birthday.

Hiei Kronk: Poor little guy… (Not at all convincingly…)

Himizu: CUT! Damn it Hiei, you're supposed to be pretending to be upset!

Hiei: I'm pretending to pretend?

Himizu: YES!

Hiei: How moronic.

Himizu: (Vein popping) Just do it, little man… or you'll have to accept the consequences… believe me… you won't like them… (Aura of blue fire appears around her and she suddenly looks very demonic)

Hiei: O.O Allrighty then…

Himizu: Good! (Smiles cheerfully) Places! Action!

(Still at the lovely fake-looking palace)

(Genkai Yzma resumes giving her speech to the masses.)

Genkai Yzma: And so, it is with great sadness that we mourn the sudden departure of our beloved prince...taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his eighteenth birthday.

Hiei Kronk: Poor little guy. (Pretends to cry, but looks reasonably convincing, so Himizu lets it go)

Genkai Yzma: His legacy will live on in our hearts...

Hiei Kronk: He never had a chance.

Genkai Yzma: ...for all eternity. (pause) Well, he ain't gettin' any deader. Back to work.

(People throw mourning costumes aside and proceed to destroy every symbol of Youko Kuzco, replacing them with symbols of their new empress, Genkai Yzma)

Genkai Yzma: Hiei Kronk, darling, I must admit you had me worried when you mixed up those poisons, but now that Youko Kuzco is dead, all is forgiven.

Hiei Kronk: (Flinches at being called 'darling' by Genkai) Ah. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's...heh. He's dead, all right. Heh heh. I mean, you can't get much deader than he -- than he is right now. Unless, of course, we killed him again.

Genkai Yzma: I suppose. (Eyes narrowed)

Hiei Kronk: Hey, look, the royal dresser's here.

Genkai Yzma: Hiei Kronk...

Hiei Kronk: I should tell you right now I'm kind of hard to fit.

Genkai Yzma: Hiei Kronk... (Kicks royal dresser off a high plateau, which is actually only about a foot off the ground because Himizu hates spending money on scenery) Youko Kuzco is dead, right? Tell me Youko Kuzco's dead. I need to hear these words.

Hiei Kronk: Do you need to hear all those words exactly?

Genkai Yzma: He's still ALIVE?

Hiei Kronk: Well, he's not as dead as we would've hoped.

Genkai Yzma: Hiei Kronk...

Hiei Kronk: I just thought I'd give you the heads-up in case Youko Kuzco ever came back.

Genkai Yzma: He can't come back!

Hiei Kronk: Yeah. That would be kind of awkward -- especially after that lovely eulogy.

Genkai Yzma: You think? You and I are going out to find him. If he talks, we are through! Now let's move!

Himizu: CUT! Okay, that's enough for today! Must watch movies with Hannibal Lecter… (Walks zombie-style towards TV)

Ryouko: She's madly in love with him.

Himizu: I AM NOT! God, why would I be in love with a guy who would probably turn around and eat me as soon as my back was turned? I'd much rather keep my ultra-sexy non-cannibalistic Canadian hockey player.

Ryouko: That description fits so many people though…

Himizu: Silence, fool. You know I only mean one person. But… HOCKEY SEASON IS OVER! (Cries)

Ryouko: Go watch the Stanley Cup playoffs…

Himizu: Maybe I can go throw stuff at Detroit and laugh at them when they lose… (Evil smile) Oh, wait, they already lost. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ryouko: (Twitch) Let's just go watch the movies…

Himizu: Yay! Movie time! (Skips to forbidden area with many cases of Mountain Dew, several tubs of popcorn, and lots of cookies)

A/N: Hope you liked. Read and Review! Ja ne!


	8. Dad Had to Kiss a Llama

A/N: This chapter is really short because I wasn't paying attention and didn't notice that the third scene I wanted to write was insanely long... I think it'll be the only one in the next chapter. So I just stopped. Sorry, but that's the way it is sometimes. And yes, I did write most of this before I wrote the BSTV's chapter, but didn't finish until recently. Anyways, enjoy, and review please!

* * *

(End credits to Scream are playing. Ryouko, Hiei, and Himizu have finished watching it, preceded by Hannibal, Saw, Saw II, The Ring, Ring II, and Friday the 13th. For some reason, they have been on a scary movie kick. Saru is still playing video games and everyone else is out loafing)

Hiei: Himizu?

Himizu: What?

Hiei: I have a question for you… I asked it earlier, but I want a better answer.

Himizu: I don't even remember you asking a question, so I'll probably give you the same answer.

Hiei: (Rolls eyes) I wouldn't expect anything else…

Himizu: Shut up.

Ryouko: Stop fighting… Crazy kids…

Hiei: (Rolls eyes again, ignoring Ryouko's comment) Himizu? Why in the name of everything good in this world did you make me play the buffoon in this parody?

Himizu: Now that's an interesting question… How do we define what is good in this world? Certain psychos in Afghanistan or whatever think it's good to attach little bombs to themselves and blow shit up… Some people think the only good things in life are football, booze, and women… Some people can't live without drugs, sex, alcohol, cars, things like that… but others think that some of these things shouldn't even be allowed to exist… It's all a question of perspective… So whose perspective were you referring to? Yours? Mine? Ryouko's? A llamas? A RANDOM STRANGER ON THE STREET'S?

Hiei: o.O

Ryouko: Take a chill pill… Remember, in through the nose, out through the teeth.

Himizu: (Takes a couple breaths) Okay, I'm calm. What was the question?

Hiei: (Glare) Why did you make me play Kronk?

Himizu: Because the fans need to see you in a different perspective.

Hiei: That's not a good answer. I don't care what they think.

Himizu: (Flipping through the script) Good, we have plenty of time to change that negative attitude… you're not in either of the scenes today.

Hiei: A fit of inspiration has seized you?

Himizu: Kinda… I'm feeling depressed cuz I don't wanna write that last chapter of BSTV's… It's been with me so long… it's like amputating something, you know?

Hiei: No I don't…

Ryouko: And you shouldn't either, baka, you've never had anything amputated.

Himizu: Yes I did, I had my right foot cut off because some stupid child named Mikey switched our hospital charts and they wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't Mikey.

Hiei: o.O What the crap?

Ryouko: -.- Himizu, that didn't really happen… it was in that one stupid book that you were reading… the one that gave you nightmares because of the story about the wizard who could make spiders crawl under your skin and through your veins and…

Himizu: SSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPP! (Freaks out and starts rubbing arms frantically) Hate hate hate spiders hate hate hate spiders hate hate hate spiders hate hate hate spiders…

Hiei: … (Blinks)

Ryouko: She deserved that…

Himizu: Okay, I'm done, let's go film!

Hiei: You're ridiculous.

Himizu: I try.

* * *

Ryouko: (Looking at script) Hey, Himizu, you missed a scene.

Himizu: O.O WHAT? WHERE?

Ryouko: Right before Genkai did the eulogy, you were supposed to show Yusuke giving Youko the poncho…

Himizu: WHAT? SHITSHITSHITSHIT!

Saru: What are you freaking out about? Just do it now and dub it in?

Himizu: HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY THINK THAT WILL WORK? WAIT! What if I do it now and dub it in?

Saru: But I just…

(Ryouko elbows her in the ribs)

Ryouko: How do you think of these things, Himizu-chan?

Himizu: It's a gift. (Happy smile)

(Quick shot showing Youko Kuzco shivering and stuff, evidently cold. Yusuke Pacha walks over and lays his poncho on top of Youko Kuzco, then walks off. Youko Kuzco opens his eyes, looks at the poncho, looks guilty, then lays his head down and goes back to sleep)

Himizu: There. Now back to our originally scheduled programming!

Ryouko and Saru: (Sigh)

(At Yusuke Pacha's House)  
(Rinku Tipo jerks awake in bed.)  
Rinku Tipo: Dad, look out!

Keiko Chicha: Rinku Tipo, what is it?

Rinku Tipo: I had a dream that Dad was tied to a log and was careening out of control down a raging river of death! (Freaks out, hyperventilates, all that jazz)

Keiko Chicha: All right, all right, it's okay.

Rinku Tipo: It was awful!

Keiko Chicha: Shh! It's okay, it's okay. Rinku Tipo, calm down. It was just a dream. Your dad's fine. He just went back to see the emperor.

Rinku Tipo: (Calm again… gotta love mood swings) Oh, like you told him to, 'cause you're always right.

Keiko Chicha: (Smirk) That's right.

Amanuma Chaca: Well, in my dream, Dad had to kiss a llama. (Snickers)

(Yusuke twitches madly as he watches this scene)

Rinku Tipo: Yeah, like that would ever happen.

Amanuma Chaca: It could.

Rinku Tipo: Nuh-uh.

Amanuma Chaca: Yeah-huh.

Rinku Tipo: Nuh-uh.

Amanuma Chaca: Yeah-huh.  
(The kids continue doing this at a very fast pace.)

Keiko Chicha: Good night, you two.

Kids: Night Mom!

Amanuma Chaca: Yeah-huh.

Rinku Tipo: Nuh-uh.

Amanuma Chaca: Yeah-huh.

Rinku Tipo: Nuh-uh.

Saru: They fight just like real siblings, don't they?

Himizu: I know, isn't it brilliant? (Looks at script) Man… this next scene is long… (Sigh) I really don't feel like doing it…

Ryouko: You have to be kidding…

Himizu: So I'm lazy. Shoot me. I just finished BSTV's, give me a break!

Saru: And before you finished that, you decided oh so brilliantly to start another fanfic.

Himizu: I don't recall asking your opinion… (Glare) Look, I have exams next week! I may as well post this now, just so I can post something. If I don't post this, I won't post it for another two weeks.

Ryouko: Point. Okay, Cast, filming is over for today! Get outta here!

Himizu: Wanna go watch the Season Finale of CSI?

Ryouko: SURE!

Saru: Yay, videogames! Must break all records…

Kurama: …She's never going to finish this, is she?

Himizu: Kurama, I never leave a fic unfinished. I will, however, ignore it for long periods of time, causing all my reader to abandon me and hate me and send threatening letters and leave effigies of me on my doorstep… Not good. So therefore, I will only abandon this as long as necessary. Which shouldn't be long, just enough to get me through the exams. Now let's go watch CSI!

Kurama: Hopeless… (Sigh)

A/N: Yeah, I already watched the Season Finale of CSI… the guy with the corset scared the crap outta me… but the end… with Grissom… and Sara… I wanted to kill something. (Scowls) I hate Grissom/Sara pairing… hate it hate it hate it! She should be with Nick! With Nick, I tell you! Grr… Oh well. Regardless, it was good. I enjoyed it. I love CSI!


	9. Look At Me and My Bad Self!

A/N: I've had this chapter ready for almost a week, but didn't feel like proofreading it... (Sigh) Gym is evil... I'm always tired when I get home and I sit and vegetate playing Spider Solitaire and listening to music... and working on a fanfic that I haven't posted yet and am really started to love... Heh heh. Anyways, here's the chapter, finally... -.-() I'll try to update again sometime within the next two weeks.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Blah. (Glares at lawyers and burns effigies of them)

* * *

Himizu: (Glaring at the TV) Well, that was a rip-off…

Ryouko: I agree… The finale of Numb3rs could have been a lot better. Oh well…

Himizu: Exams are over… I should go film some more.

Ryouko: You really should.

Himizu: (Sigh) (Doesn't move)

Ryouko: (Lifts eyebrows)

Himizu: (Still doesn't move)

Ryouko: (Rolls eyes) Get up, you lazy girl!

Himizu: (Sigh) Fine… (Gets up) Let's go! (Marches out to find that it is 2 in the morning and the Cast is asleep) (Evil smile) (Pulls out trumpet and giant speakers)

Ryouko: O.o … -.- They won't thank you for that…

Himizu: Sucks for them. (Blows Taps at 500 decibels.)

YYH Cast: HOLY CRAP FOR CRAP!

Himizu: That worked out well…

(Cast sees her holding trumpet)

Hiei: Why did you do that?

Himizu: I'm inspired! Let's film!

Kurama: At 2 AM?

Himizu: Well, why not?

Kurama: (Groan) You're insane.

Himizu: No da.

Ryouko: Kurama, remember who you're talking about…

Kurama: -.-() Right…

Himizu: PLACES!

(In the pathetic imitation of a jungle)

Yusuke Pacha: (Gets hit in the face with a bunch of water) Ooh! Brr.

Youko Kuzco: (Hands Yusuke Pacha his poncho.) Uh, hey. Thanks.

Yusuke Pacha: Oh. No problem.

Youko Kuzco: Feels like wool.

Yusuke Pacha: Yeah.

Youko Kuzco: Alpaca?

Yusuke Pacha: Oh, yeah, it is.

Youko Kuzco: Oh, yeah, I thought so. It's nice.

Yusuke Pacha: My… … My… … Keiko made it.

Youko Kuzco: (Lifts eyebrows sarcastically) Oh, she knits?

Yusuke Pacha: … … …Crochets.

Youko Kuzco: Crochets? Nice. (Smirking)

Yusuke Pacha: … … …Thanks.

Youko Kuzco: (No longer smirking) So...so, I was thinking that when I got back to the city, we'd, uh...I mean, there's lots of hilltops, and maybe I might, you know...I … I might...

Yusuke Pacha: Are you saying...you've changed your mind?

Youko Kuzco: Oh, well, I … I...

Yusuke Pacha: Because you know that means you're doing something nice for someone else.

Youko Kuzco: No, I know that. I know.

Yusuke Pacha: And you're all right with that?

Youko Kuzco: Yes. (Yusuke Pacha looks hard at him then holds out his hand) What? (He holds out his hoof)

Yusuke Pacha: (Pulls back) Don't shake unless you mean it. (They shake) (Looking cheerful) All right. Let's get you back to the palace. Oh, by the way, thanks.

Youko Kuzco: (Smugly) No...thank you.

Yusuke: (Spazzing)

Himizu: What the crap, Urameshi?

Yusuke: Too…much…nice…

Ryouko: -.- What a jerk…

Himizu: I'm getting ready to show him just how nice you and I can be when we're pissed off…

Yusuke: (Twitch) I don't think that will be necessary… (Twitch)

(Later)

Yusuke Pacha: Okay. Once we cross this bridge, it's only an hour to the palace.

Youko Kuzco: Good, because believe it or not, I think I need a bath.

Yusuke Pacha: (Muttering) I believe it.

Youko Kuzco: (Glare) What was that?

Yusuke Pacha: Nothing. (Smirks) (Falls through a rotting board and gets caught in the vines under the bridge) Ohh! Whoa! Youko Kuzco! Youko Kuzco!

Youko Kuzco: (Nonchalantly) Yeah?

Yusuke Pacha: Quick, help me up!

Youko Kuzco: No, I don't think I will.

Yusuke Pacha: You're going to leave me here?

Youko Kuzco: Well, I was going to have you imprisoned for life, but I kind of like this better.

Yusuke Pacha: I thought you were a changed fox-man.

Youko Kuzco: Oh, come on, I had to say something to get you to take me back to the city.

Yusuke Pacha: So all of it was a lie?

Youko Kuzco: Well, yeah. No, wait. (Thinks for a second) Uh, yeah, yeah, it was all a lie. Toodles. (Walks away)

Yusuke Pacha: (Yelling) We shook hands on it!

Youko Kuzco: (Comes back) You know, the funny thing about shaking hands is...you need hands. (Shows off hooves) Ha! Okay. Buh-bye. (Falls through boards and also gets caught in the vines) Aah!

Yusuke Pacha: Are you okay? Are you all right?

Youko Kuzco: Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm all right.

Yusuke Pacha: Good! (Punches him) That's for going back on your promise!

Youko Kuzco: (Hits him back) Yeah, that's for kidnapping me and taking me to your village...which I'm still gonna destroy, by the way. Ah ha ha ha! (O.O) No touchy. Ooh! (Gets majorly body-slammed by Yusuke Pacha)

(They are now standing on rocks on opposite sides of the canyon thing… which isn't really that big of a canyon, but shhh.)

Yusuke Pacha: Why did I risk my life for a selfish brat like you? I was always taught that there was some good in everyone, but, ooh, you proved me wrong.

Youko Kuzco: Oh, boo-hoo. Now I feel really bad. Bad llama. (Slaps face lightly)

Yusuke Pacha: I could've let you die out there in that jungle, and then all my problems would be over.

Youko Kuzco: Well, that makes you ugly and stupid.

Yusuke Pacha: Let's end this.

Youko Kuzco: Ladies first.

(No one moves)

Himizu: What the crap?

Youko and Yusuke: I'm not jumping first!

Ryouko: -.- Bakas…

Youko: He's supposed to jump first, it's in the script!

Yusuke: I'm not a lady, goddamnit!

Ryouko: Lady? Where?

Himizu: Silence, fool. Yusuke… if you don't jump… (Snarls, gets an aura of fire and ice)

Yusuke: o.o Yes ma'am! (Jumps)

Yusuke Pacha: Aah!

Youko Kuzco: Yaah!  
(They fly at each other and begin fighting. The vines break and they fall down into a crevice. If they fall anymore they will fall into the river and be eaten by crocodiles. Very hungry man-eating, demon-eating, and, yes, llama-eating crocodiles)

Youko Kuzco and Yusuke Pacha: Oh! Aaah! Ow! Ow! Whoa! Oh!

Youko Kuzco: (Hysterical) What are we gonna do? Aah! What are we gonna do? We're gonna die! We're gonna die! That's it for me!

Yusuke Pacha: No, we're not. Calm down. I have an idea. Give me your arm. (They link arms) Okay, now the other one. When I say go, push against my back, and we'll walk up the hill. Ready? Go. (Pushes back and Youko Kuzco is slammed up against the crevice wall.)

Youko Kuzco: Ow! You did that on purpose. Aah! (Shoves back)

Yusuke Pacha: No, I didn't! Now, we're gonna have to work together to get out of this, so follow my lead. Ready? Right foot.

Youko Kuzco: Whose right? Your right or mine?

Yusuke Pacha: I don't care. Mine.

Youko Kuzco: Well, why yours?

Yusuke Pacha: -.- Okay, your right! Ready?

Youko Kuzco: Okay, got it.

Yusuke Pacha: Okay, right. Left. Right.  
(They begin to climb out of the crevice)

Youko Kuzco: Ha ha! Look, we're moving! (Looks at the hungry crocs and freaks out) Aah!

Yusuke Pacha: Don't look down! Now, stay with me. Stay with me. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right!

(The crevice begins widening so that they can't go up anymore.)

Youko Kuzco: Now what, genius?

Yusuke Pacha: Working on it. (Sees a long vine) Okay, here's the deal. Stretch out your neck and I'll grab the rope.

Youko Kuzco: How do I know you won't let me fall after you grab the rope?

Yusuke Pacha: You're just gonna have to trust me!

(Youko Kuzco does so and Yusuke Pacha reaches for the vine.)

Youko Kuzco: (Sarcastically, since Yusuke is wearing some big pillows to look more like Pacha) You know, it's a good thing you're not a big, fat guy, or this would be really difficult. Ugh! Argh!

Youko Pacha: Almost. Got it! (Gives it a tug) It's stuck.

Youko Kuzco: Take your time. No hurry here. (Scorpions fall into his fur) Scorpions! Aah ha ha!

Yusuke Pacha: Youko Kuzco!

(Youko Kuzco scrambles and gets his mouth stuck in an opening in the wall. The scorpions make their way down Yusuke Pacha's shirt, so he slams back against the wall to kill them. The banging wakes up the bats that live in the cave. Since Youko Kuzco's mouth is blocking the entrance, they all fly into his mouth until he's pushed back from the opening and they can fly out.)

Youko Kuzco: Aah! Oh, no!

Yusuke Pacha: Uhh! Aah! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Youko Kuzco: Huh? (The momentum makes Youko Kuzco fly up the rest of the way to the top of the canyon wall, pulling Yusuke Pacha with him.) Aah! Whoa! (Cliff begins to collapse… but since Himizu is cheap, the collapsible part is actually a pile of loose rocks, mwa ha ha) Huh? Look out! (He pulls Yusuke Pacha back from the crumbling canyon wall.)

Yusuke Pacha: Oh!

Youko Kuzco: Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Oh, look at me and my bad self. I snatched you right out of the air! 'Oooh, I'm a crumbly canyon wall and I'm taking you with me.' Well, not today, pal. Uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Uh-huh. (Does the Egyptian dance…which looks so wrong since he's a fox demon dressed as a llama… shudders)

Yusuke Pacha: (Stunned) You just… saved my life.

Youko Kuzco: O.O Huh? (-.-) So?

Yusuke Pacha: (Smirk) I knew it.

Youko Kuzco: Knew what?

Yusuke Pacha: That there is some good in you after all.

Youko Kuzco: Oh, no.

Yusuke Pacha: Admit it.

Youko Kuzco: Wrong.

Yusuke Pacha: Yes, there is.

Youko Kuzco: Nuh-uh.

Yusuke Pacha: I think there is. Hey, you could've let me fall.

Youko Kuzco: Nuh-uh! Come on, what's the big deal? Nobody's that heartless. (Covers mouth with hooves) Don't read too much into it. It was a one-time thing.

Yusuke Pacha: Right. Sure. Well, we better get going. With that bridge out, it's a four-day walk to the palace.

Youko Kuzco: What? You mean you're still taking me back?

Yusuke Pacha: (Shrug) I shook on it, didn't I?

Youko Kuzco: Well, yeah, but I hope you realize that doesn't change a thing. I'm still building Kuzcotopia when I get back.

Yusuke Pacha: Well, four days is a long time. Who knows? Maybe you'll change your mind.

Youko Kuzco: Uh-huh. Four days. What are the chances of you carrying me?

Yusuke Pacha: (Twitch) Not good… not good at all…

Himizu: Phew… told you this one would be a long scene.

Ryouko: Technically, it was two, but we'll go with that.

Saru: (Wakes up) Hi, gang, what did I miss?

Himizu and Ryouko: EVERYTHING!

Saru: o.O (Twitches) Okay…

Yusuke: (Falls over twitching) I sound so gay...

Himizu: Granted, Pacha is a bit of a sap, but give me a break…

Kuwabara: Ha ha, Urameshi sounds so dumb! Ha ha ha!

Himizu: Silence, baka!

Youko: This is so stupid… I'm leaving. (Turns into Kurama)

Himizu: Fine… but you'll come back out when I tell you to. And you will listen. Mwa ha ha!

Ryouko: Easy girl…

Himizu: Okay, I lack inspiration to do anything else! I'm done for now! See ya'!

Hiei: Please tell me I'm not in any more scenes…

Ryouko: Oh, Hiei, why don't you like playing Kronk? He is the best character in the movie! And yes, you're in the next filming! You might even be in the next scene.

Hiei: (Groans)

Ryouko: (Rolls eyes) Whatever… Hey, Himizu, can we go watch Law & Order?

Himizu: (Sleeping while standing up) (Wakes up) What? Law & Order? Where? Sure! Let's go watch TV! And drink caffinated sodas! And sugary imitation fruit drinks! Because those are better than any alcohol!

Cast: O.o What the heck?

Saru: Okay… whatever… (Goes back to sleep)

(Ryouko and Himizu go back to the TV room)

Cast: … (Goes back to sleep)

* * *

A/N: Review please! (Puppy eyes) I'm too tired to think of anything creative to say... 


	10. Cheese Me No Like Cheese!

A/N: Finally, I update this thing! I tried all day yesterday, but I just couldn't get this thing uploaded! But now here it is. I still can't believe I wrote the whole thing in one sitting. I hope it's up to my usual standards.

* * *

Himizu: (Staring at ceiling) So… bored…

Ryouko: (Blinks)

Himizu: You know, since I got back from camp, I've had the strangest urge to go and get in touch with nature… maybe go fall in some quicksand. That was fun. Kinda smelly though.

Ryouko: Kinda? You killed our laundry ogre when he smelled the clothes you wore into the quicksand!

Himizu: Heh heh… (Grins sheepishly)

Ryouko: (Rolls eyes)

Himizu: Well, since there's no quicksand around here, I guess I'll go film some more.

Ryouko: (Lifts eyebrows) You're actually inspired? I'm very impressed, Himizu.

Himizu: (Bows) Thank you, I try.

Ryouko: Uh, no you don't. If you tried, this fic would have been done before you went to camp.

Himizu: Shut up.

(Somewhere in the fake jungle, we see Hiei pulling a wheelbarrow that has been set up to look like a royal carriage thing that is supposed to be carried on someone's back, but Hiei probably isn't strong enough to do so, so therefore we have a wheelbarrow! Yay!)

Genkai Yzma: No, no, no! We've searched every village surrounding the palace and still no sign of Youko Kuzco. Where is he? (Into intercom) Hiei Kronk!

Hiei Kronk: (Into intercom) Hiei Kronk here.

Genkai Yzma: (Into intercom) I'm getting tired. Pull over.

Hiei Kronk: (Into intercom) Sure thing. Hiei Kronk out. (We pull back as he comes to a stop and Genkai Yzma steps out. She proceeds to walk hard with her heels on his back and his hand.) Ooh! Aah! Aah! Ohh!

Genkai Yzma: (Looks down and sees she's standing in mud) Perfect. These are my best shoes. I hate this jungle. (Pulls a long scarf out of mud and hits herself in face. She is then chased by bees)

Hiei Kronk: Oh, look. A golden-throated small-winged warbler. Just one more for exotic bird bingo.

Genkai Yzma: (Sees Bucky) Aah!

Hiei Kronk: I am loving this.

Genkai Yzma: Get away from me! Uhh.

(Bucky runs over to Hiei Kronk and proceeds to chatter to him.)

Hiei Kronk: Yeah. Tell me about it. No, no, it's not you. She's not the easiest person to get close to. There's a wall there. (Taps spot where heart should be, but we all know Hiei doesn't have one… not the point though!) Trust me.

Genkai Yzma: Are you talking to that squirrel?

Hiei Kronk: I was a junior chipmunk. I had to be versed in all the woodland creatures. (To Bucky) Please continue.

Bucky: Squeak squakers squeak squeak.

Genkai Yzma: Aah! Why me? Why me?

Hiei Kronk: Hey, it doesn't always have to be about you. This poor little gal's has had it rough. Seems a talking llama gave him a hard time the other day.

Genkai Yzma: (Quickly moves to stand beside Hiei Kronk, scaring the crap out of Bucky, making Himizu twitch and plan to send her beloved squirrel to therapy) Oh, a talking llama? Ha ha ha ha! Do tell. Heh heh heh heh.(Bucky turns her back on Genkai Yzma.)

Hiei Kronk: Uh, she doesn't really want to talk to you.

Genkai Yzma: -.-# Well, then, you ask her.

Hiei Kronk: -.- I hate being in the middle. Squeaky, uh...squeak, squeaker, squeakin'.

Bucky: Squeak squeaky squeakers squeak.

Hiei Kronk: Jaguars? No kidding? Brutal.

Bucky: Squeak squeak squeaky squeak. (She then realizes that Genkai Yzma is listening and she stops talking.)

Hiei Kronk: Uh, could you give us a little room here?

Genkai Yzma: (Moves a few inches away) Uh, sorry.

Hiei Kronk: Uh-huh. A little bit more, please.

Genkai Yzma: (From about 20 feet away) How is this?

Hiei Kronk: Yeah, that's good.

Genkai Yzma: Now ask her which way the talking llama went!

Hiei Kronk: Uh, squeakity-squeak, squeakin'.

Bucky: Squeakity squeak! (Points)

(In another part of the jungle)

(Yusuke Pacha is pulling Youko Kuzco in a wheelbarrow.)

Yusuke Pacha: Low blood sugar, huh?

Youko Kuzco: (Reclining lazily, sipping lemonade) Yeah, it's a curse. Ha.

Yusuke Pacha: -.-# Well, as soon as we get something to eat, you're walking the rest of the way.

(At Mudka's Meat Hut)

(They arrive, but there is a sign over the door that states 'No Llama's'. They look at each other and Yusuke grins evilly.)

Waitress Botan: Bingo! Welcome to Mudka's Meat Hut, home of the mug...of meat. What'll it be?

Yusuke Pacha: Ahem. We'll have two specials. Is that all right, dear?

(Youko Kuzco is now dressed up like a woman.)

Youko Kuzco: (In a high-pitched voice) Oh, whatever you say, pumpkin. You know what I like.

Yusuke Pacha: Hee hee hee. We're on our honeymoon.

Waitress Botan: Bless you for coming out in public. So that's two specials.

Youko Kuzco: And an onion log. To split. (Bats eyelashes cutely)

Waitress Botan: Ordering! I need two heartburns and a deep-fried doorstop on table twelve!

(Yusuke Pacha and Youko Kuzco laugh)

Yusuke Pacha: Okay, so I'll admit this was a good idea.

Youko Kuzco: When will you learn that all my ideas are good ones?

Yusuke Pacha: That's funny, because I thought going into the jungle by yourself, being chased by jaguars, lying to me to take you back to the palace, were all really bad ideas.

Youko Kuzco: Anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude.

Waitress Botan: Hot and crispy pillbug for the happy couple. Mazel tov.

Yusuke Pacha: Oh, boy. (Begins eating something that looks like a giant bug's guts)

Youko Kuzco: Ooh. Ugh. Bluh. Urp!

Yusuke Pacha: Oh, here. Let me get that for you

Youko Kuzco: Bleaggh! Uck! (Gets up)

Yusuke Pacha: Where are you going?

Youko Kuzco: I'm just going to slip into the kitchen and have a word with the chef.

Yusuke Pacha: You're gonna get us thrown out.

Youko Kuzco: Please. With this disguise, I'm invisible.

Guy at Bar (AKA Chuu): (Oggles Youko Kuzco's ass, then gives Yusuke Pacha a thumbs up.) Heh heh!

(Yusuke Pacha nervously gives a thumbs up back)

(Genkai Yzma and Hiei Kronk walk in and sit right behind Yusuke Pacha.)

Genkai Yzma: We've been walking around in circles for who knows how long. That is the last time we take directions from a squirrel. I should have done away with Youko Kuzco myself when I had the chance.

Hiei Kronk: Oh, you really gotta stop beating yourself up about that. (Genkai Yzma bends her fork in half.) Uh-oh. I'll get you another one there, Genkai Yzma. (To Yusuke Pacha) You using that fork there, pal? (Yusuke Pacha hands him the fork) Hey, don't I know you?

Yusuke Pacha: I don't think so.

Hiei Kronk: Wrestled you in high school?

Yusuke Pacha: Yeah, as if… I mean…Don't remember that.

Hiei Kronk: Metal shop? I got it! Miss Narca's interpretive dance -- two semesters. I was usually in the back because of my weak ankles. Come on, pal. You gotta help me out here.

Yusuke Pacha: (Somewhat alarmed to hear Hiei acting chummy) I don't think we've ever met, but I've gotta go. (Gets up and begins walking away towards the kitchen)

Hiei Kronk: Don't worry, I'll think of it.

(In the kitchen)

(Youko Kuzco is talking to Chef Kuwabara.)

Youko Kuzco: Look, all I know is the food looked iffy. I'm not the only one that thinks that, I'm sure.

Yusuke Pacha: (From the doorway) Psst! Hey!

Youko Kuzco: So, I'm just checking to make sure you're going to take the main course up a notch.

(Back in the dining area)

Genkai Yzma: Is there anything on this menu that isn't swimming in gravy?

Hiei Kronk: Hang on. I'll go ask the chef.

(Back in the kitchen)

Youko Kuzco: It's a simple question. Is there or is there not anything edible (Yusuke Pacha drags him out, Chef Kuwabara looks relived, but Youko Kuzco sticks his head back in) ...on this menu?

(Chef Kuwabara snarls angrily)

Youko Kuzco: Hey, I didn't ask him about dessert yet!

Hiei Kronk: Hey, pal, what's your policy on making special orders?

Chef Kuwabara: Hey! Shorty's actually being nice!

(Everyone glares at Kuwabara)

Chef Kuwabara: All right, buster, that's it! You want a special order, then you make it! I quit!

Hiei Kronk: Yeah, but I…

Chef Kuwabara: I try and I try, but there's no respect for anyone with vision. That's it! There's just nothing I can do about it!

Hiei Kronk: Please don't go.

Waitress Botan: Three pork combos, extra bacon on the side, two chili cheese samplers, a basket of liver and onion rings, a catch of the day, and a steak cut in the shape of a trout. You got all that, honey?

Hiei Kronk: (Wearing the giant chef's hat that Kuwabara shoved on his head as he stormed out) Three oinkers wearing pants, plate of hot air, basket of grandma's breakfast, and change the bull to a gill, got it.

(In a back room)

Youko Kuzco: What's going on?

Yusuke Pacha: No time to explain. We gotta get out of here.

(Back in the dining area)

Genkai Yzma: What is he doing in there? (Looks annoyed, walks to kitchen)

(Back in the storage room)

Yusuke Pacha: (Opens window) Unh! Come on!

Youko Kuzco: In a minute, I'm still hungry.

Yusuke Pacha: No, Youko Kuzco!

Youko Kuzco: Okay, I'll make it simple for you. I'll have a spinach omelet with wheat toast. You got it?

Hiei Kronk: Can do.

Genkai Yzma: What's taking so long?

Hiei Kronk: Pickup!

Genkai Yzma: Hiei Kronk! You can cook? What are you doing?

Hiei Kronk: Kinda busy here.

Genkai Yzma: Why am I not surprised?

Hiei Kronk: Your order's up!

(From here on out every time Genkai Yzma and Youko Kuzco speak, they come in the door to the kitchen and go right back out. Like as soon as one of them walks out the other walks in. And the whole time, Yusuke Pacha is trying to grab Youko Kuzco and hide from Hiei Kronk and Genkai Yzma at the same time.)

Genkai Yzma: Ohh! Oh, well, while you're at it, make me the special. And hold the gravy! (Walks out)

Hiei Kronk: Check. Pickup!

Youko Kuzco: (Walks in) You know what? On second thought, make my omelet a meat pie. (Walks out)

Hiei Kronk: Meat pie. Check.

Genkai Yzma: (Walks in) Hiei Kronk! Can I order the potatoes as a side dish?

Hiei Kronk: I'll have to charge you full price.

Genkai Yzma: Ooh! (Walks out)

Youko Kuzco: (Walks in) Hey, how about a side of potatoes, my buddy? (Walks out)

Hiei Kronk: You got it. Want cheese on those potatoes?

Genkai Yzma: (Walks in) Thank you, Hiei Kronk. Cheddar will be fine. (Walks out)

Hiei Kronk: Cheddar spuds coming up.

Youko Kuzco: (Walks in) Spuds yes, cheese no. (Walks out)

Hiei Kronk: Hold the cheese.

Genkai Yzma: (Walks in) No, I want the cheese. (Walks out)

Hiei Kronk: Cheese in.

Youko Kuzco: (Walks in) Cheese me no like cheese. (Walks out)

Hiei Kronk: Cheese out.

Genkai Yzma: (Walks in) Cheese in! (Walks out)

Hiei Kronk: Come on, make up your mind!

Youko Kuzco: (Walks in) Okay, okay, on second thought...

Youko Kuzco and Genkai Yzma (Who walks in): Make my potatoes a salad. (Youko Kuzco ducks out before Genkai Yzma can see him. She rubs her ear to make sure that she's not hearing double.) (Walks out)

(Back in the dining area again)

(Genkai Yzma goes and sits down at her table. Youko Kuzco is directly across from her. Every time one of them lowers their menu, the other raises it. Yusuke Pacha sees this and goes over to Waitress Botan.)

Yusuke Pacha: Excuse me. You see that woman over there? (Whispers the rest to her)

Waitress Botan: No problem, hon. We do that all the time.

(A few minutes later)

Waiters: (Singing to Genkai Yzma) One, two, three, four. Happy, happy birthday from all of us to you. We wish it was our birthday so we could party, too. Happy, happy birthday, may all your dreams come true…

(Genkai screams in horror)

Hiei Kronk: (Coming out of the kitchen) Ha ha ha! It's your birthday?

(Yusuke Pacha grabs Youko Kuzco and drags him out of the restaurant)

Youko Kuzco: What are you doing?

Yusuke Pacha: Look, there's two people in there looking for you.

Youko Kuzco: What?

Yusuke Pacha: A…big? No. A little short guy and a skinny short old woman.

Youko Kuzco: Wait. Was this woman scary beyond all reason?

Yusuke Pacha: Oh yeah. (Gets hit on the head by some hard object thrown by Genkai)

Youko Kuzco: That's Genkai Yzma and Hiei Kronk! I'm saved!

Yusuke Pacha: Trust me, they're not here to save you.

Youko Kuzco: They'll take me back to the palace. Thanks for your help. You've been great. I can take it from here.

Yusuke Pacha: You don't understand. They're trying to kill you.

Youko Kuzco: (Snorts) Kill me? Their whole world revolves around me!

Yusuke Pacha: No, I can't let you!

Youko Kuzco: What? Wha… oh, I get it!

Yusuke Pacha: What?

Youko Kuzco: You don't want to take me back to the palace. You want to keep me stranded out here forever.

Yusuke Pacha: No!

Youko Kuzco: This has all been an act, and I almost fell for it.

Yusuke Pacha: Will you just listen to me?

Youko Kuzco: No, no, you listen to me. All you care about is your stupid hilltop!

Yusuke Pacha: What?

Youko Kuzco: You don't care about me. Now, just get out of here. Go!

Yusuke Pacha: But…

Youko Kuzco: Go on! Get outta here!

Yusuke Pacha: Fine! Hmph! (Leaves in a "huff")

(A minute later, Youko Kuzco finds Genkai Yzma and Hiei Kronk.)

Genkai Yzma: Oh, this entire mess is your fault.

Hiei Kronk: (Innocent face) What'd I do?

Genkai Yzma: If you hadn't mixed up those poisons, Youko Kuzco would be dead now! There'll be no more diversions until we track that llama down and kill him!

Hiei Kronk: (In a childish pouty way) Said I was sorry. Can't we just let it go? Not even on your birthday.

Genkai Yzma: Youko Kuzco must be eliminated. The empire will finally be rid of that useless slug.

Hiei Kronk: You've got a point. Nobody really seems to care that he's gone, do they?

(They leave. Youko Kuzco looks horrified, then runs off looking for Yusuke Pacha, but he's gone.)

Youko Kuzco: Yusuke Pacha!

Yusuke: Man, girl, you have a lot to answer for.

(Himizu laughs crazily)

Hiei: I hate myself for not killing you when you suggested this.

Ryouko: That was really funny though… (Snickers)

Saru: It's so funny watching you act OOC.

Ryouko: We love you anyways. (Throws arm around Hiei, he shrugs her off)

Hiei: Why didn't you just give up while you still had some small chance of me not killing you?

Himizu: (Innocent face) Hiei-chan, why on earth would you want to hurt sweet innocent little me? (Gets a halo)

Hiei: You forced me to play a buffoon…

(Halo flickers a bit)

Yusuke: You made me a pathetic sap.

(Halo become rusty)

Kurama: I'm still mad at you for the Sir Lancelot thing in your last parody.

(Halo is slowly turning black)

Hiei: Everything you do seems designed to totally humiliate us!

(Halo vanishes in a blast of blue fire and Himizu looks stunned)

Himizu: YOU FIGURED OUT MY PLANS! OH NO! RUN AWAY! (Runs away screaming)

Ryouko: She seems angry.

Saru: Goody! Let's grab the notebook! I love it when she's angry!

Ryouko: She thinks up her best torture ideas that way.

(They run off. The YYH Cast looks at each other with identical "We are doomed" expressions on their faces.)

* * *

A/N: Hope you all like it! I only have two more chapters left to write, one of about average length and then the last one's gonna be really long cuz there's almost no break in the action, unless I decide to do a super short last scene and then something random to make a third chapter. This thing will be done hopefully before Ryouko comes to visit, which is August 12th. So I have about a month to finish! Wow... Hope you liked it. Review please! 


	11. Tell Us Where the Talking Llama Is!

A/N: Hi everyone, I'm updating again! I started the next chapter, and there will definately be two more chapters (counting the one I'm working on). The last bit is so long, I just feel like chopping it up.It'll definately be finished sometime in early August! Woohoo!

Oh, one more thing! Go read the three new fics that Ryouko and I put up under our joint penname, Ryouko and Himizu. There's an easy link on my bio... if you go to my Favorite Authors, Ryouko and Himizu is there. Please go and review those stories so that poor Ryouko feels loved. Feel free to read the other two that are up there, but the first three don't have any reviews yet, so please please please review! Thanks! Now on with MY fic!

Disclaimer: Come on people, get a clue! Would I really have to write this stuff if I owned it? Of course not! I would film it and get a crapload on money for it! As it is, I don't own it, so I can only write about it, and get no money for it. Oh well.

(Ryouko and Saru drag Himizu back into the room. The stunned Cast sees that Himizu is bound up by several strait jackets and is laughing like a maniac.)

Himizu: MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Cast: Dare we ask?

Ryouko: We're currently experiencing technical difficulties, but we'll return with your regularly scheduled program momentarily…

Kurama: (Lifts eyebrows) Technical?

Saru: Shaddup…

Himizu: MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Yusuke: Whatever she did must be bad if you're restraining her like that…

Ryouko: Well, most of the ideas were pretty good. I took notes.

Saru: Yeah, I really liked her idea that involved the fire and the rockets, and the rabid skunks…

Cast: o.o

Ryouko: And the one involving fireworks and lots of lighter fluid…

Cast: O.O

Saru: But then when she started talking about turning this into an opera, we really felt we had to draw the line.

Cast: O.O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Ryouko: So we restrained her for her own safety. And for your sanity.

Cast: Ok… O.Ox

Himizu: MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA… What the? Hey, why am I wearing a bunch of strait jackets? Let me out! I need to film!

Ryouko: Baka! You were talking about making the YYH Cast perform an opera!

Himizu: Ish… that would be a bad idea… Now a musical on the other hand… WEST SIDE STORY! (Evil smile) MWA HA HA HA HA HA!

Cast: O.O

Ryouko and Saru: -.- (Whack Himizu on the head with mallets)

Himizu: ITAI!

(Still in the fake jungle! Wow! We have now reached the point in the movie where we came in, back at the beginning.)

Youko Kuzco (Voice-over): So this is where you came in. See, just like I said, I'm the victim here. I didn't do anything, and they ruined my life and took everything I had.

Youko Kuzco (Not voice-over): Hey, give it a rest up there, will you?

Youko Kuzco (Voice-over): What? I'm just telling them what happened.

Youko Kuzco: Who you kidding, pal? They saw the whole thing, they know what happened.

Youko Kuzco (Voice-over): Well, yeah, but...

Youko Kuzco: Just leave me alone.

(At Genkai Yzma's camp… Genkai Yzma is sleeping in a huge tent, while poor Hiei Kronk is in a tent so small it only covers the very middle of his body, like his stomach or whatever... (wow, small tent…o.o) Suddenly Hiei Kronk jerks awake.)

Hiei Kronk: That peasant at the diner! (Pause) He didn't pay his check. (Falls back asleep, but then jerks back up.) He's the peasant who I saw leaving the city who disappeared into the crowd with Kuzco on the back of his cart. He must have taken him back to his village, so if we find the village, we find him, and if we find him, we find Youko Kuzco. Oh, yeah, it's all comin' together. Genkai Yzma! (Runs into her tent)

Genkai Yzma: What?

(Genkai Yzma sits up and she's wearing a very skimpy negligee, plus she's got this goop all over her face, and cucumbers on her eyes.)

Hiei Kronk: AAH! MY EYES!

Genkai Yzma: This had better be good!

(Random thought: One of the greatest plot holes in this story is that Yzma and Kronk can find Pacha's village and house… but yet they don't even know his name! How did they do it? Black magic has my vote!)

(In a random valley… A group of demons dressed as llamas are pretending to graze. Youko Kuzco walks up and the llamas all walk away from him. He's so hungry, he tries to eat grass, which doesn't go so well…)

Youko Kuzco: Yeech.

Yusuke Pacha: (Talking to other llamas) So there we were standing on the cliff, and the ground started to rumble. And just as it started to go, he grabbed me before I fell. Do you believe that? You know, call me crazy for following this guy all the way out here, but as much as he tries to deny it, I know there's some good in him. Besides, I couldn't just leave him out here all alone. He's a lousy llama. I mean, a really lousy llama. (Sees Youko Kuzco and grins)

Youko Kuzco: Hey, listen, Pacha, you know, what I said to you back at the diner, that… that… I… I didn't really...

Yusuke Pacha: So, you tired of being a llama?

Youko Kuzco: Ye-ee-ee-es! (Starts crying) T.T

(At Yusuke Pacha's Village)

Yusuke Pacha: Okay, we're just gonna stop at the house and get some supplies.

Youko Kuzco: Then we'll be on our way, right?

Yusuke Pacha: Right.

Villager Hagari: Hey there, Yusuke Pacha. You just missed your relatives.

Yusuke Pacha: My relatives?

Villager Mitari: We just sent them up to your house.

Yusuke Pacha: What did they look like?

Villager Mitari: See, there was this… really short guy and this really ancient short woman who was...how would you describe her?

Villager Hagari: Scary beyond all reason.

Villager Mitari: Yeah, that's it.

(At Yusuke Pacha's House… Keiko Chicha is serving tea to Genkai Yzma)

Keiko Chicha: So, remind me again how you're related to Yusuke Pacha?

Genkai Yzma: Why, I'm his third cousin's brother's wife's step-niece's great-aunt. Heh heh. Twice removed.

Keiko Chicha: Uh-huh.

Genkai Yzma: Isn't that right, Hiei Kronk?

Hiei: I'm not doing this…

Ryouko: Fine, then I'll raise the money to buy you and I will hug you and pet you and squeeze you and I will name you Don John Hiei!

Hiei: (Twitch) No thanks…  
(Hiei Kronk, Amanuma Chaca, and Rinku Tipo are playing jump rope (Authoress dies laughing at an image of Hiei playing jump rope).)

Amanuma Chaca: Ninety-nine monkeys jumpin' on the bed!

Hiei Kronk: One fell off and bumped his head!

Keiko Chicha: You know, I am so sorry that you had to come all this way, but as I said to you before, you may recall, Yusuke Pacha is not here. I'll be sure and tell him you came by.

Genkai Yzma: Oh, would you, please? That would be just great. (Gestures to widely and her cup goes flying and hits the floor, breaking into a million pieces.) Oops. Clumsy me.

Keiko Chicha: Oh my gosh! Glass on the floor! The kids will step on it and cut their feet and…! Oh my gosh! (She starts picking up all the pieces, which takes a long time cuz they're all really tiny)

Genkai Yzma: (Runs over to Hiei Kronk) She's hiding something. When I give the word, we search the house.

Hiei Kronk: Okay, but I still have ninety-four monkeys to go.

Genkai Yzma: Grr! (Runs back and sits down just as Keiko Chicha finishes picking up all the pieces of the cup) So, while we're waiting for Yusuke Paca…

Keiko Chicha: Yusuke Pacha.

Genkai Yzma: Oh, yes. Perhaps we can have a tour of your lovely home.

Keiko Chicha: You know, why don't you just come back when Yusuke Pacha gets home? I'm sure he'd love to show you the...(Sees Yusuke Pacha in the window) excuse me, won't you? I think I left something in the oven.

Hiei Kronk: This is my variation of double Dutch. On the signal, we switch places.

(Genkai Yzma goes over to Hiei Kronk.)

Genkai Yzma: Hiei Kronk, it's time!

Hiei Kronk: Okay!

(They all switch and now Hiei Kronk is jumping rope with the kids and Genkai Yzma is turning the rope.)

Genkai Yzma: Grrr!

(In the kitchen)

Yusuke Pacha: So, we have to get back to the palace, find the lab, and change him back.

Youko Kuzco: Hi there! (Kieko Chicha hits him with a frying pan and he falls over) Aah!

Yusuke Pacha: That was him.

Keiko Chicha: Whoops.

(Back in the living room… Genkai Yzma is going through the closet while Rinku Tipo watches.)

Rinku Tipo: (Jumping rope)You know what? I don't believe you're really my great-aunt. You're more like my great-great-great...

(Back in the kitchen)

Keiko Chicha: Go, I'll stall them long enough for you two to get a head start.

Yusuke Pacha: Thanks, honey.

Youko Kuzco: (With little stars and birds flying around his head) You have a lovely wife. They're both very pretty.

(Back in the living room…)

Rinku Tipo: …great-great-great...

Genkai Yzma: Grr! All right! Are you through?

Rinku Tipo: ...great-great-aunt.

Keiko Chicha: (Walks back in) So, where were we?

Genkai Yzma: Listen, sister, we're not leaving until…

Keiko Chicha: I show you the house. Of course. (Drags Genkai Yzma off)

(Outside the house, running through the village)

Youko Kuzco: Was it a good idea to leave your family with those two?

Yusuke Pacha: Oh, don't worry. They can handle themselves.

(Back in the living room… Hiei Kronk and Genkai Yzma are locked in the closet!)

Keiko Chicha: What do you mean the door is stuck? Try jiggling the handle.

Genkai Yzma: There is no handle in here.

Keiko Chicha: (Holding the handle in her hand… like, it's not in the door anymore) There's not? Are you sure?

Genkai Yzma: All right, I've had enough of this. Tell us where the talking llama is and we'll burn your house to the ground.

Hiei Kronk: Uh, don't you mean 'or'?

Genkai Yzma: (Heavy sigh) Tell us where the talking llama is **_OR_** we'll burn your house to the ground.

Amanuma Chaca: Well, which is it? That seems like a pretty crucial conjunction.

Genkai Yzma: That's it! Hiei Kronk, break the door down!

Hiei Kronk: Break it down? Are you kidding me? This is hand-carved mahogany.

Genkai Yzma: I don't care, you fool. Get out of my way. I'll break it down myself. A-one...

Keiko Chicha: Okay, kids, you know what to do.

Genkai Yzma: Two...

Kids: Right, Mom! (They run off)

Genkai Yzma: Three! Aah!

(Keiko Chicha opens the door, and Genkai Yzma comes running out, she slides on a wet floor and goes flying out the front door into a wheelbarrow, which goes right down the hill. Rinku Tipo holds up a can of tar and Genkai Yzma goes flying through it. Further down the hill Amanuma Chaca holds up a pillow. Genkai Yzma hits it and is now covered in feathers. The wheelbarrow hits a rock and Genkai Yzma goes flying towards a tree where a piñata is hung up for the children to hit. She knocks it out of the way, and is now the piñata.)

Villager Atsuko: Okay, children, on your mark, get set, go!

(The children begin whacking Piñata Genkai Yzma with sticks)

Genkai Yzma: Ow! Ow! Stop it, you little brats! Huh? Ow! Oh, there they go, Hiei Kronk! They're getting away!

Hiei Kronk: Ha ha ha! Well, I had a great time. Let's not wait until the next family reunion to get together.

Genkai Yzma: Hiei Kronk!

Hiei Kronk: I, uh, I gotta run.

(Shot of both pairs of them racing back to the palace. There are red dots following Youko Kuzco and Yusuke Pacha, and blue triangles following Genkai Yzma and Hiei Kronk. Genkai Yzma and Hiei Kronk (who is pulling the wheelbarrow again) look down and see the red dots, they look behind them and see the blue triangles, then they look at each other and shrug. Yusuke Pacha and Youko Kuzco have made it over a bridge and they cut the rope so that Genkai Yzma and Hiei Kronk can't follow. That's okay though, because apparently there is a flying device in Genkai Yzma's tent. They put on goggles like pilots used to wear and Hiei Kronk hits a button and wings pop out. They get partially over the canyon and out of nowhere a bolt of lightening hits the flying machine and they fall way down. Yusuke Pacha and Youko Kuzco continue on to the palace.)

Himizu: And that's enough for today! Cuz the next scene is frickin' long!

Ryouko: Hiei, you're becoming pussy-whipped!

Hiei: (Snarls)

Saru: That's so true. Carrying Genkai around, obeying her every command…

Hiei: (Getting really pissed off)

Ryouko: I never thought that GENKAI would be the one to pussy-whip him though… I wanted to do that…

Himizu: (Eye twitch) Your fantasies scare me sometimes…

Ryouko: What the heck are you implying?

Himizu: (Innocent face that fools on one…) I have no idea what you're talking about…

Ryouko: I'm sure… (Glares suspiciously)

Genkai: Hiei, go get me a lemonade.

Hiei: Get it yourself, you hag.

Genkai: (Glare) I said get me a lemonade!

Hiei: Make me, Oban.

Genkai: GET ME A LEMONADE RIGHT NOW, YOU USELESS DIMWIT!

Hiei: Eek… (Scurries off to get Genkai a lemonade)

Saru: All right… that was really OOC… Even for him… Are you sure you didn't have a say in this, Himizu?

Himizu: Eh heh heh… (Has the upside-down U eye face again)

A/N: Yeah, I'm crazy. That last scene came in a fit of inspiration. I was sitting there typing that last scene and it just hit me, Genkai sitting in a big poofy chair ordering everyone around... mwa ha ha. Yeah... Review please!


	12. Yay I'm a Llama Again! Wait

A/N: Woohoo, here it is! The second to last chapter! Not I gotta think of something really fun to do at the end. If you reviewers have any ideas, send 'em in! I hope to finish this fic by the end of the week... definitely before August 12 because that's when Ryouko's coming! (Squeals with joy) Oh, it's gonna be great, but fics will be on hold at that point, so I better do something with Evil Overlord List before then. (Sigh) I'll get on it, don't worry!

Himizu: (Sitting cross-legged in a corner, meditating) Oooommmm… Oooommmmm…

Saru: This is probably a really stupid question, but what is she doing?

Ryouko: Meditating…

Saru: Why?

Ryouko: (Points at Hiei)

Hiei: (Sharpening katana)

Saru: I see… and how is meditating going to help her?

Ryouko: I have no idea. I asked her, but she just kept 'ooming' and totally ignored me, so I left.

Saru: Interesting.

(A couple hours later…)

(Hiei darted behind a pillar. Then he darted behind another. Then behind a table. Etc etc. Each time he moved, he got progressively closer to Himizu. Finally, he darted right up to her and lifted his katana to strike, but…)

Himizu: Caught you! (Eyes open, she points three fingers at Hiei, each one perfectly aligned with one of his eyes.)

Hiei: … WTF?

Himizu: Did you really think I was meditating to find spiritual peace or balance or whatever?

Hiei: Good point…

Himizu: Shows how much you know! I already have perfect balance. (Stands on one leg to prove it)

Hiei: Uh huh…

Ryouko: Mitari!

Mitari: What?

(Ryouko shoves him behind Himizu, because she was stupid and came out of her corner to stand on one foot to show off her perfect balance. Then she pokes Himizu's shoulder, making her topple over and Mitari, being a gentleman, catches her)

Himizu: Yipe! (Realizes she just fell into Mitari's arms) Thanks Mitari.

Mitari: Uh… you're welcome.

Himizu: Okay, let's film!

(In Genkai Yzma's Chambers)

(Youko Kuzco walks in sopping wet with a crocodile clamped onto his tail. He kicks the croc and it runs away.)

Youko Kuzco: Okay, why does she even have that lever?

Random Voice: Please remain seated and keep your arms and legs in at all times.

Youko Kuzco and Yusuke Pacha: Huh? AHHH!

(In the Secret Lab)

Yusuke Pacha: What does it look like?

Youko Kuzco: I don't know. Just keep looking.

(Yusuke Pacha opens a giant cupboard where all the vials are.)

Yusuke Pacha: Over here! It has to be one of these. Lions, tigers, bears... (There is an empty space showing a human)

Genkai Yzma: Oh, my. Looking for this? (Holds up a vial)

Youko Kuzco: No! It can't be! How did you get back here before us?

Genkai Yzma: (Pause) Uh...how did we, Hiei Kronk?

Hiei Kronk: Well, you got me. (From out of nowhere he pulls down a map that shows them falling into the river after the lightening strike) By all accounts, it doesn't make sense.

Genkai Yzma: Oh, well, back to business.

Youko Kuzco: Okay, I admit it. Maybe I wasn't as nice as I should have been, but, Genkai Yzma, do you really want to kill me?

Genkai Yzma: Just think of it as you're being let go, that your life's going in a different direction, that your body's part of a permanent outplacement.

Hiei Kronk: Hey, that's kind of like what he said to you when you got fired.

Genkai Yzma: I know. It's called a cruel irony… like my dependence on you.

Youko Kuzco: I can't believe this is happening!

Genkai Yzma: Then I bet you weren't expecting this! (Begins to lift up her dress)

Yusuke Pacha: No!

Youko Kuzco: Aah!

Genkai Yzma: (Reveals a knife in her garter) Aha!

Youko Kuzco: Oh, okay.

Genkai Yzma: Ha ha! (To Hiei Kronk as she tosses him the knife) Finish them off!

Shoulder Devil: Hey, you're not backing down now, are you, little guy?

Hiei Kronk: Uh, where's the other guy? (The shoulder angel shows up and he's having his hair done. He's sitting in a hair dryer like in a beauty salon.)Yo!

Shoulder Angel: (Hops up) Sorry I'm late. So, what'd I miss?

Hiei Kronk: Well, Genkai Yzma just tossed me this knife and asked me to, you know, take them out. Then this guy popped up and we waited for you, and quite honestly…

(Genkai Yzma turns to look at Yusuke Pacha and Youko Kuzco who shrug in confusion. To them, it looks like Hiei Kronk is talking to himself. She turns back to Hiei Kronk.)

Genkai Yzma: Hiei Kronk! Why did I think you could do this? This one simple thing. It's like I'm talking to a monkey.

Shoulder Angel: Whoa now.

Genkai Yzma: A really short, stupid monkey named Hiei Kronk!

Shoulder Devil: Ouch.

Genkai Yzma: And do you want to know something else? I've never liked your spinach puffs. Never!

(Hiei Kronk whimpers and tears up, the Shoulder Angel pats him comfortingly while the Shoulder Devil grips his pitchfork and snarls menacingly)

Shoulder Devil: That's it. She's going down.

Shoulder Angel: Now, now, remember, guys. From above, the wicked shall receive their just reward.

(They all look up and see the chandelier hanging right above Genkai Yzma. They are all bathed in light.)

Hiei Kronk, Shoulder Angel, and Shoulder Devil: That'll work.

(Hiei Kronk cuts the rope but Genkai Yzma is skinny enough to fit right through the middle of the chandelier.)

Hiei Kronk: Strange. That usually works.

Genkai Yzma: And so does this! (Pulls a lever)

Hiei Kronk: Ah. Should have seen that coming. (Falls through the trapdoor) Whoa!

(Shoulder Angel and Shoulder Devil cling to each other in fear, and they fall too)

Genkai Yzma: Aah! Give me that vial! (Jumps on Yusuke Pacha and wrenches the vial out of his grasp, knocking it to the floor)

Yusuke Pacha: Oof!

Genkai Yzma: Ah! Ha ha! Aah! (Tips over the shelves with the vials, now there are hundreds of them on the floor.) Oops. Clumsy me. Which one? Which one? (Pulls a lever as Yusuke Pacha and Youko Kuzco search for the vial.) Better hurry. I'm expecting company. (The guards arrive) Kill them! They murdered the emperor!

Youko Kuzco: No, wait! I'm the emperor! It's me… Youko Kuzco! They're not listening to me!

Yusuke Pacha: Just take 'em all!

Soldiers: Yaah!

(Yusuke Pacha and Youko Kuzco throw some vials, and the guards get changed into various animals.)

Genkai Yzma: Get them!

Soldier Kuwabara: Hey, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home?

Genkai Yzma: You're excused. Anyone else? (Kuwabara the Cow dances off screen happily)

Soldiers who are now Animals: No, we're good.

Genkai Yzma: Get them!

Yusuke Pacha: We've gotta change you back. Try this one.

(Youko Kuzco gets turned into a turtle.)

Youko Kuzco: Uh, Yusuke Pacha? A little help! (He's going really slowly since he was turned into a turtle, which isn't exactly good since he's supposed to be running from guards)

Yusuke Pacha: Come on! Come on!

(The guards are closing in.)

Youko Kuzco: Aah!

Yusuke Pacha: Oh, please be something with wings.

(Youko Kuzco turns into a bird and flies over the interior water tank.)

Youko Kuzco: Yeah! We're flyin'! (It turns out he's a small bird, like the size of a canary.) Uh-oh! (They fall onto a bridge) We're not getting anywhere with you picking the vials. I'm picking the next one!

Yusuke Pacha: Fine by me!

Youko Kuzco: Give me that one! (Changes into a whale) Don't you say a word. Aah!

Yusuke Pacha: Aah!

(The bridge breaks under Youko Kuzco's weight and they fall into the water below)

Genkai Yzma: Quick! Drain the canals!

Yusuke Pacha: Open up! (Gives Youko Kuzco another vial)

Youko Kuzco: Yay! I'm a llama again! Wait... -.-

Youko Kuzco and Yusuke Pacha: Aah! (Being sucked down the drain)

Genkai Yzma: There they go! After them!

Soldier Jin (Who by the way, is a lizard): Come on, men! Nobody lives forever! Charge!

Soldiers who are now Animals: Aah! (They fall out the drain, but they also continue falling down the cliff the palace is built on (actually into a small wading pool that Himizu set up) while Yusuke Pacha and Youko Kuzco have managed to climb up the front of the palace)

Genkai Yzma: Grr! Aah!

Youko Kuzco: Okay, only two left. It's gotta be one of these. No!

(Genkai Yzma attacks… there is lots of evil laughter… the smoke clears…)

Genkai Yzma: Ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha! Meow. (She is now a tiny and very cute kitten)

Youko Kuzco: I'll take that. (Takes the human vial from her.)

Yusuke Pacha: This is the one. This'll change you back to a human.

Youko Kuzco: (Genkai Yzma launches herself at him and he drops the vial.) Ow! Hey, get her off!

Yusuke Pacha: Whoa!

Youko Kuzco: Get her off me! Aah! Ow!

Yusuke Pacha: Drink the potion!

Youko Kuzco: Okay, okay! Aah! Where did it go? Where is it?

Himizu: CUT!

Cast: What?

Himizu: This'll just take a second. (She leads Genkai off screen.)

(A few minutes later, filming resumes)

Genkai Yzma: (Holding the vial) Looking for this? (She sounds like she's been sucking helium) Is that my voice? Is that my voice? Oh, well.

(Off Screen:

Ryouko: Geeze, I hope that lasts…

Saru: No kidding… that was how many balloons?

Himizu: Five… I counted.)

Youko Kuzco: No! Don't drop it!

Genkai Yzma: I'm not going to drop it, you fool! I'm going to drink it! And once I turn back into my beautiful self, (Primps) I'm going to kill you! Ha ha ha!

Youko Kuzco: Aah!

(Genkai Yzma goes to open the vial, but she can't get the stopper out. She ends up falling over the edge down the cliff.)

Genkai Yzma: Aah! Uh-oh. Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

Yusuke Pacha: (Falls over the edge, but manages to hang on my his fingertips.) Uhh! Whoa! Uhh! Oh-oh-oh! Youko Kuzco!

Youko Kuzco: Be right there! Give me a minute! (Tries to reach the vial before it falls too) Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!

Yusuke Pacha: Youko Kuzco! (Youko Kuzco catches him just before he falls) Whoa! Youko Kuzco! Aah! Oh. The vial!

Genkai Yzma: Aah!

(At the Front Gate)

Soldier Kurama: For the last time, we did not order a giant trampoline.

Trampoline Guy Kuwabara: You know, pal, you could've told me that before I set it up.

Genkai Yzma: Aah! Aah! (Hits the trampoline and goes back up) Uhh… Huh? (Catches vial) Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha! Hoo hoo hee hee ha ha ha… (Hits her head, loses vial, and falls over stunned)

Yusuke Pacha: The vial! You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

(Yusuke Pacha and Youko Kuzco link arms like they did at the cliff and begin to climb up to the vial, but Genkai Yzma gets there first.)

Genkai Yzma: Ah ha ha ha ha! I win.

(Suddenly a trick door slams open and smashes her against the wall.)

Hiei Kronk: Whoa.

Yusuke Pacha: (Catches the vial) Got it!

Hiei Kronk: What are the odds of that trapdoor leading me out here?

Youko Kuzco and Yusuke Pacha: Yeah! (Hug each other) Uhh. (Realize what they were doing and are instantly five feet apart)

Yusuke Pacha: Here, uh, let me get this for you. (Pulls out the cork and hands it to Youko Kuzco)

Youko Kuzco: Well, see ya on the other side. (Drinks)

Himizu: Cut! Wow… Only one more scene.

Ryouko: I still say you could have finished this a couple months ago if you'd applied yourself.

Himizu: Meh meh meh. Blah. It's almost done at any rate, and I still have some wonderful loyal readers and reviewers.

Saru: Are you gonna have another party?

Himizu: I thought about it, but I decided not to because when YYH and the Holy Grail was deleted, one of the reasons listed was "reviewer interaction" which I figured meant the party… although why my reviewers shouldn't interact is beyond my comprehension, but there you are. So I'll just have to come up with something extra fun for us to do as compensation. How about if we make Ryouko into a piñata?

Ryouko: (Snarls) Try it and die!

Himizu: Okay. (Innocent smile, but ruins the affect by glancing pointedly at rope and paint cans sitting nearby)

Ryouko: … (Pulls out a machine gun and a katana and solemnly vows not to fall asleep until this parody is done)

A/N: What should I do for my last chapter? Send some ideas! Send some reviews telling me what a phenomenal/average/sucky job I'm doing! Read the fics Ryouko and I wroteon ourother profile!Read Dra Gan's fics cuz they're great and I'm in them! Do at leastone of thesethings and you get a cookie!Ja mata ne!


	13. Did You Eat the Acorn?

A/N: It's the last day of summer vacation and this fic is finished! Yay for me! The rest of the stuff I wanna say is at the end of the chapter, so you can read it then.

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, The Emperor's New Groove, Monty Python, any drinking songs, Wings of a Butterfly, or the group HIM. I think that covers it, but in case I forgot something, I don't own that either.

Himizu: (Singing along to Wings of a Butterfly, by HIM, which I don't own, but I wish I did, it is so amazing!) _Come on, and show them your love, Rip out the wings of a butterfly, For your soul, my love, Rip out the wings of a butterfly, For your soul!_

Ryouko: X.X I hate it when she sings… (Covers ears with pillows)

Himizu: Aw, come on! I'm almost finished with this fic! I'm happy! So happy in fact, that I have decided not to make you a piñata.

Ryouko: First good idea you've had in a long time.

Himizu: -.- Shaddup.

Saru: (Blinks) Okay then. So what are we going to do then?

Himizu: Work before play my dear children. Last scene, people, let's go! PLACES! ACTION!

Hiei: Maybe someday her voice box will deteriorate and we won't have to listen to this…

Himizu: I heard that! (Whacks Hiei on the head with a rubber chicken)

(The Palace)

(Youko Kuzco is once again a human. He's talking to the old guy named Onji from the beginning of the movie.)

Onji: Oh, now, you…you...you stop being so hard on yourself. All is forgiven.

Youko Kuzco: You're sure.

Onji: Oh, it's not the first time I was tossed out a window, and it won't be the last. What can I say? I'm a rebel. (Starts boxing and punches Youko Kuzco a couple times)

Youko Kuzco: Whoa-ho-ho, tiger. Oh! Hey, I got to use that arm later. Okay, buddy, take care. (Wanders into the Throne Room where Yusuke Pacha is waiting and looking at the model of the village from before) Ha ha. Ah, he's a sweet guy. (Pauses, then walks over to Yusuke Pacha) So, you lied to me.

Yusuke Pacha: I did?

Youko Kuzco: Yeah. You said when the sun hits this ridge just right these hills sing. Well, pal, I was dragged all over those hills, and I did not hear any singing. So...I'll be building my summer home on a more magical hill. Thank you.

Yusuke Pacha: Hmm. Couldn't pull the wool over your eyes, huh?

Youko Kuzco: No, no, I'm sharp, I'm on it. Looks like you and your family are stuck up on that tuneless hilltop forever, pal.

Yusuke Pacha: You know, I'm pretty sure I heard some singing on the hill next to us. In case you're interested.

(Yusuke Pacha's Village)

Youko Kuzco: (Coming out of his vacation hut) Ha! Boom, baby!

Yusuke Pacha: (Coming out of his house) Ha! Boom, baby!

(They both run and slide down a waterslide into a pool. Youko Kuzco gets out and Keiko Chicha hands him a poncho with a llama crocheted on it. He smiles and puts it on. Yusuke Pacha gets out and hugs both of them.)

Theme Song Guy AKA Koenma: You'd be the coolest dude in the nation or the hippest cat in creation, but if you ain't got friends then nothing's worth the fuss. A perfect world will come to be when everybody here can see that a perfect world begins and ends, a perfect world begins and ends, a perfect world begins and ends with us!

(Junior Chipmunk Meeting)

Hiei Kronk: (With Bucky on his shoulder) My acorn is missing.

Scouts: Squeak squeakin' squeak squeakity.

Hiei Kronk: Did you eat the acorn?

Scouts: Squeaker squeak squeak squeakin'?

Hiei Kronk: You owe me a new acorn.

Scouts: Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeaker…

(Rinku Tipo nudges Genkai Yzma the kitten who's standing beside him and wearing the uniform.)

Genkai Yzma: Squeakin'. -.-#

Hiei Kronk: I'm so proud of you guys.

Himizu: (Throws script into the air) IT'S DONE! I HAVE OFFICIALLY FINISHED MY SECOND PARODY! Well, this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne, pour the champagne! (A/N: Yes, I was listening to Panic! At the Disco's _I Write Sins Not Tragedies_ while writing this.)

Ryouko: Why champagne? What's wrong with vodka?

Saru: Isn't underage drinking against the law?

Himizu: Didn't I go over this in my last parody? We're all over 21, except Rinku and Amanuma, who are Chuu's sons, and we beat anyone up who asks questions. Why am I constantly repeating myself around here? Don't answer that, it'll probably make me suicidal.

Hiei: Really? (Looks pleased)

Ryouko: Hiei, why should Himizu kill herself when it is so much more fun to murder her?

Hiei: Excellent point. (Pulls out katana)

Himizu: X.X My best friend is out to kill me… and of course, she recruits the one person in this room who would do almost anything to kill me… go figure. How about this, let's just have a simple party. Kurama, whip up something to drink, Ryouko and I will make a cake!

Kurama: Knowing you people, there's gonna be something else to this… (Gets busy making a punch anyways)

Himizu: Here's a recipe for the cake! Here, Ryouko, you find these ingredients, I'll find the others!

Ryouko: SUGAR! (Runs off)

Saru: Hm… nice looking punch Kurama… red… like blood…

Kurama: Okay then… o.o (Turns his back for a moment to find a nice container for the punch)

Saru: Mwa ha ha… (Dumps a small vial of liquid into the punch)

Himizu: Where in the world is Ryouko? I need that sugar!

Ryouko: (Off-screen) HYAAA!

(Several loud crashes are heard)

Himizu: … That was a bad idea, wasn't it?

Hiei: Do I wanna know?

(Everyone runs off in the direction of the crashes, and they find Ryouko whacking a sack of sugar repeatedly against a desk)

Cast: What the heck?

Himizu: -.-()

Yusuke: Ok, what the heck is going on here?

Saru: She has some kind of obsession about sugar…

Himizu: Which I stupidly forgot about just now…

Kurama: And it is…?

Himizu: Basically, she hates when sugar gets old and starts to clump.

Saru: She feels the need to smash it up into a fine powder.

Ryouko: YYAAAHHH! DIE SUGAR, DIE! MWA HA HA!

(A/N: This is based off a real event where Ryouko and I were helping our science teacher set up an experiment and the sugar was really clumped up and she whacked the sack against a desk for five minutes straight just to get enough to break apart for the experiment. I swore I would bring it back in a fic someday.)

Hiei: … That… is not normal.

Saru: Hello, you're talking about one of us!

Hiei: Right…

Himizu: Yeah, okay, nothing more to see here, let's go, move it on out! (Shoos everyone out of the room where Ryouko is still smashing sugar and screaming like a deranged monkey)

(An hour or so later)

Himizu: Okay, the cake is made, the punch is ready, and we're ready to have a small party to celebrate the end of this parody, and probably my last parody for a while unless I get a really good idea. And even then, I have a bunch of other stuff I wanna work on, so any ideas may go into storage for a while.

Ryouko: FIESTA! (Blows party favor, tickling Hiei's cheek)

Hiei: Get away from me…

(Kuwabara approaches the crystal bowl of punch, when suddenly the liquid begins to bubble and froth)

Kuwabara: (Jumps backwards) Hey, Kurama, what kind of joke is this! What's in the bowl!

Kurama: …? (Confused)

Hiei: A secret ingredient known only to Kurama that can sense when an idiot approaches.

(Everyone cracks up while Kuwabara looks pissed off)

Kuwabara: That's not funny, shrimp! I'm not an idiot!

Hiei: You just keep telling yourself that.

Kuwabara: I will. (Smirks, thinking he won the argument)

Himizu: Ugh. What an A-1 baka.

Ryouko: You can say that again.

Himizu: What an A-1 baka.

Ryouko: You can say that again.

Himizu: What an A-1 baka.

Ryouko: Okay, shut up, that's enough of that.

Himizu: Well, you told me to say it again!

Ryouko: Shut up! I didn't mean for you to take it literally!

Himizu: Well, then don't say stuff like that, since you know I will take it literally!

Hiei: Oh, gimme a break…

Ryouko and Himizu: (Singing) _Gimme a break, gimme a break! Break me off a piece of that KIT-KAT BAR! Gimme a break, gimme a break! Break me off a piece of that KIT-KAT BAR!_

Hiei: Oh my god…

Kurama: (Taps Saru's arm) What did you put in the punch anyways?

Saru: What makes you think I put anything in it?

Kurama: You were the only Authoress close enough to actually put anything in it without me noticing.

Saru: Good point. Well, it's completely harmless. It's just delayed-reaction liquid carbonation. Guaranteed to break the ice at parties.

Kurama: o.o;

Saru: (Suddenly talking in an English accent) 'Black soap'… leave it in the bathroom, they wash their hands, and real fungus grows on the fingers. Can't get it off for hours. Guaranteed to break the ice at parties. Frighten the elderly… real snakes. Plastic flesh wounds… just keep your friends in stitches. Guaranteed to break the ice at parties.

Kurama: o.o() Just how much sugar have you had today?

Saru: Quite a bit actually, but it doesn't really take too much to get my quoting Monty Python. (Smiles sweetly while Kurama inches away, a look of utter terror on his face)

Himizu: Well… (Is suddenly hit on the head with a slice of cake) HEY! WHO'S THE WALKING DEAD MAN THAT THREW THAT?

(Jin raises his hand innocently)

Himizu: And you wasted sacred cake like this… for what reason?

Jin: Dunno… jus' felt like it.

Ryouko: (Spots Chuu sitting nearby drinking) Oh no…

Saru: He didn't… did he?

Himizu: Did what?

Rinku: Of course he did! He spiked the punch.

Himizu: O.O Oh crap…

(Within moments, most of the Cast is either throwing cake around or singing drunkenly)

Saru: (Signing along) _Drunk last night. Drunk the night before, Gonna get drunk tonight like I never been drunk before, For when I'm drunk I'm as happy as can be; For I am a member of the Souse family!_

Himizu: What are you doing?

Saru: Why fight it?

Himizu: (Sigh) And Ryouko?

Saru: (Point)

(Ryouko is throwing cake at Hiei, who is dodging pretty well, since he's not as drunk)

Himizu: Oh well… (Sits down with a piece of cake for herself)

Ryouko: (Sees Himizu) Hiei, come 'ere.

Hiei: What now?

Ryouko: I'm having evil thoughts right now… involving Himizu and that cake.

Hiei: Okay, I'm interested.

(Ryouko and Hiei make a plan, then they execute it)

Hiei: (Sits down across from Himizu with cake)

Himizu: … (Watches Hiei warily)

Hiei: (Concentrates on his cake, ignoring Himizu)

Himizu: (Still watching Hiei, feeling suspicious)

(Ryouko sneaks up behind Himizu and suddenly pushes her face into her cake, making Himizu yelp in surprise)

Himizu: RYOUKO! (Jumps up to chase Ryouko, but can't see because of the chocolate in her eyes)

(Ryouko and Hiei laugh like maniacs)

(A few hours later, everyone seems to have calmed down and people are sleeping off the effects of the alcohol)

Himizu: Well, that was fun. I will really have to do some more parodies sometime, but not for a while, and not until I get some ideas! So send me ideas! Until then, mazel tov! Hey, drunk Aussie! Get a broom and start cleaning this mess up!

Chuu: Me?

Himizu: Cha! Who do you think is responsible for this mess?

Chuu: (Sigh)

Ryouko: Tell him, Himizu.

Himizu: See you in my next fic everyone!

A/N: Well, it's the last day of summer vacation and this fic is finished. I'm not starting anything else until the Evil Overlord fic is finished. That cake incident… Ryouko spent a couple weeks here and we went out to eat with some friends and had a private room to ourselves. I ordered a brownie with frosting on it and Ryouko made a joke about shoving my face in it, and I said she could, so she did and we have pictures. She would never shove me face in a brownie or cake or whatever without my permission first cuz she's a good friend like that. Now tomorrow I'm going back to school, so my updates may not be as frequent (not that they are not either…), but if you still want to read my work, go to Ryouko and my joint page, Ryouko and Himizu. We have about nine fics up there. Seven are one-shots and the other two are longer, only one is actually in progress. So if you need to read more of my work, go read those, and review them too! Ja mata ne minna!


End file.
